LMAO...I quit, I quit!!!! I had another one for you but I quit!!!

hold out your hand please ma'am!

:smack: :smack: :smack:

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Rin e-mail it to me.... you have me very curious.

Need to bring DD lunch. BBL

Still

BOIYOIYOIYOING!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

SEE!

Crazy, HOW HE JUST SHOWS UP!!!!

LMAO

Hey BC thanks for popping in....

how's life been treating you?

Rin he must be psychic.

Still

I was going to say something about his timing!!! But I'll leave that alone too! LMAO

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

You all had me laughing earlier reading this and I was SO mad I could not post at the time!!

BC - - psychic or psychotic?? Only HE knows for sure! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> You know we love ya BC! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

It was even more funny after I received an email with a video titled "Why Men Should Not Parachute Naked" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Talk about "popping up" Actually, it was more like flapping in the wind!! LMAO!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Hey Bugs,

That sounds like a video I would like to see.... hehe

Still

Had a really rough night last night. I guess I just need to share it with my friends here.

WH is making it sooo easy to really feel nothing but hate for him. One of his credit card bills came to my house. I thought it was one of our joint cc bills. The a$$ had hotel room charges from labor day weekend with his HO up in Bar Harbor. I can't tell you how badly that hurt. He even tried to deny it. Why does he have his personal cc bills coming to my address?

I guess I was expecting too much to hear something like "sorry you had to see that". It brought me right back to the feeling of d-day. Why can't they even have any compassion to how this affects us?

It's not that I even want him back. I think I would just like some compassion and remorse for all the hurt he caused and continues to cause me.

When will this end.... when is it our turn for? When is the Karma bus going to hit them. I know unanswerable questions.

Still

THIS is who you want him to be. This is NOT who he is. IF he was your imaginary man, with compassion and remorse...you would not even have a reason to be on the board right now.

He is a man who could betray you with the worst possible betrayal, NOT a man with compassion and remorse.

Stop going to the hardware store and asking the salesclerk why they aren't stocking Bread and Milk!

BR,

I know that all to well... I think this will be something I will struggle with about him for a very long time.

It just kills me because I was doing so well... it brought me back several paces. It's not like I don't realise they are together. I guess I looked at it when I was in a weak moment.

Actually sobbed last night.... makes me mad that I wasted prescious(sp?) sleep on thoughts of him.

I actually am doing sort of okay with this. It just hurt to feel like it was being thrown in my face. You think I would learn by now that he's still very much a WH.

Still

These are the days that I had to pray for the willingness to be willing...

willing to accept...willing to surrender my will, my way..

Accept him today, as he is today. Tomorrow, start over, accepting him for who he is, WARTS and ALL.

I know that doesn't help with the pain that has already been caused, but it can help you with reality every day henceforth. It's good advice that I've been given on more than one occassion. Probably from BR and Mimi, no less...

I've gotten the great credit card bills w/ the dinners and flowers and everything. I told him to keep that $h!t away from me, put it in our separation papers that he takes ALL credit card debt, and have them sent to him.

I told him it is a way of saying (without actually looking me in the eyes) "I don't care about you or how bad this hurts you."

I can't get even a little bit of compassion or remorse, either.

BR,

Where would I be without prayer??? Probably in a puddle on the floor <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />.

That night I prayed the serenity prayer and Our Father. It really does help.

Silent,
Great point about accepting who he is daily. Sometimes it's hard because deep down at times I still want to believe that he is who I thought he was. Does that make any sense? Today I accept that my WH is still WH deep in the fogg.

Sl77,

I know about the cc... right after he left there were charges on our joint cc for dinners and such. It's just I hadn't "seen" something like that for a while. Currently "our" money is still all together so unfortunately my money still goes for ho entertainment. His attorney like to ignore letters from mine. We are still waiting 6 weeks later for response so we can get a financial proposal together. Yhe way I look at it now is the longer we stay "married" the more 401k I get <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />.

Today I am back to being happy with life.

Still

It's been awhile since I posted on my own thread, so I decided today I would update.

On vacation this week...don't know if that was a really great idea since it has given me alot of time to think about my upcoming anniversary. It will be 23 years this coming Sunday. Planning to try to keep myself really busy that day. I may head down to Boston to spend the day with my DD20. At least I know WH won't be able to spend that day with ho because it's his weekend with DS.

I really don't miss my WH, I miss what I thought I had. Sometimes I really feel like I was living a lie. That I had my eyes closed to a lot of things. That the person I thought he was really wasn't ever there. Does any of that make any sense?

On a slightly better note... I have a "date" Friday night. Not a real date in teh sense of dating. My BFF and I are going out to the Old Port with the local photographer and his SO. He's gay so there are no worries there. They are taking us out for dinner and dancing. Really looking forward to just having a good time.

I also have adopted another kitten, this one from the humane society. Had to bring Logan to Boston this weekend. Hopefully DD20 lets him come back. I am turning into a cat lady. Need to bring Jay (new kitten) to vet I think he has a cold. Poor thing is sneezing and has little bubbles coming from his nose.

Otherwise I am continueing to reflect on me.... IC told me when I'm ready to start dating that I need to really be aware of red flags. That I tend to be idealistic and try to see the best in everyone. I'm not so sure that is the case any longer, I do feel my view of men in generalis a little jaded. Although I know more men that have been faithful and very loving towards thier wifes than I know have cheated. So I know there are trustworthy people out there just hope I can find one.

Still

Howdy Still,

Well, you have been going thru pergatory for YEARS with this WH of yours haven't you (since '01 from your sig line)? It only stands to reason that you may think you were living a lie.

When I look back, I see a good R, up until that window on that stick gave me a plus sign. Once that baby was growing inside me, our life changed. The bomb had been dropped.

Anyway, sounds like you are handling things pretty well. You have a date to have some real fun. Where are you going dancing? What kind of dancing? Dirty dancing? Naughty girl.

Maybe you should do the LIMBO! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hey Silent,

Yes my life has been in purgatory since 2001. Wow this month it will make 6 years since the first affair. I'm ready to be out of there real soon. I think at times I should of done this much earlier... but hey I tried to work on it just couldn't do it alone.

Not sure what type of dancing yet.... I have never been to the Old Port (portland). Just that they told us they were going to show us a great time. And we were going to laugh till our sides hurt. I'm just looking forward to getting some male attention.

Still

Still,

Try not to dwell too much on what was "real" or not in the past. It's hard, I know. But what does it gain you now? Mostly just more pain.

DEFINATELY go to Boston on Sunday. Celebrate one of the great things from your M,,,, DD20! Make it a special mother/daughter day and start a new tradition for the day!

You are going to have a GREAT time on your "date"! My gay friends know all of the best places to go and just let loose for some fun!!

{{Still}}

Thanks Bugs,

I think I will make that a new tradition....my DD20 brought it up last time I talked to her about visiting with her.
DD17 will be spendnig the day with her boyfriend who she hasn't seen in weeks. DS wil be with his dad.

I am so looking forward to Friday night. The countdown begins.

Still