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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 2 |
My wife thinks we spend too much time together and this is why she does not feel very sexual towards me. She thinks if we spent less time around each other it might actually help our sex life, has anyone else gone through this? What should I do?
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,714
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,714 |
How much time do you spend together? What do you do during that time? How long has this been going on?
How long have you been married? Any children? How old are you?
What do you do to get her in the mood? When people have been together for longer than 2 years, the instant sexual attraction lessens. Women especially may need extra time to get in the mood. For many women, foreplay starts hours in advance. A call from the office saying "I can't wait to see you tonight," a bunch of flowers, a lingering kiss. Compliments, and affection. All this preps a woman for what men traditionally think of as foreplay.
Divorced.
2 Girls
Remarried 10/11/08
Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 2 |
32 y/o married 10 years, three children, I work from 8-3 M-F and she stays at home with the kids. We do have a nanny and do get to go out about twice a month w/o the kids.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970
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Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970 |
Welcome, Frogz, to MarriageBuilders...
Have you read the Basic Concepts, The Four Rules of Marriage? Do the Emotional Questionnaire and the Love Buster one...these help a lot in understanding what each partner does and doesn't do, needs and doesn't need.
From your limited response, I am seeing a lack of Undivided Attention (UA). Harley recommends a minimum of 15 hours a week. I suggest you also explore what kind of time you're spending together...Harley has a great Recreational Companionship Inventory on this website which is fun to go through together...helps with the UA time, as well.
Thank you for being here and taking your wife's desires as seriously as your own.
Consider, also, moving your posts to the Emotional Needs forum...it gets a lot more traffic.
LA
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,346
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Member
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,346 |
Welcome to the MB, Frogz!
I can interpret this in several ways, some positive, some negative.
You really need to write a little more about your relationship with your W. Are the two of you generally happy with each other? Is everything pretty much OK, and this is an isolated problem, or is it just one of several problems? Do you do things for each other that makes the other person happy? Is there too much stress with the kids and your house on her? On you? Past or present problems in the bedroom? Financial problems? Is the house too small so that you are in each other's faces all the time? Do you have your own hobbies? Does she have hobbies? Do you have hobbies together?
Let us know
Me: 50. W: 50. Happily married since 1993. 3 kids.
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