Well Folks,

I am about to attend the funeral of a former co-worker today. She was only 51, and I believe that she could in most ways be catagorized as having died of a broken heart, caused by infidelity.

I tried hard, nearly two years ago, when her WH left her without warning, to lead her to this forum, but she resisted, not wanting to believe that there was an OW.

Instead, she went to a MC who was not pro marriage, who took her money, and didn't help her a bit. I feel so sad, not because of her failed marriage, but because I really believe that if she had come here, she would have been able to recover, maybe not her marriage, but herself.

But instead, she took her own life last week.

Who

Who,

This is absolutely heartbreaking, just heartbreaking.

You know, I bet this happens a lot more than we hear about.

In the days/weeks following D Day, I was sooooooo heart sick, so devestated. It would not be an exaggeration to say I had thought about suicide, but the thought of my three children put a stop to that quickly. However, I do remember just wishing very hard that I wouldn't wake up, or that I'd get into some horrible accident and just expire.

I know that sounds like melodrama, but there really is no worse pain, I think, than being betrayed.

God Bless Your Friend.

Very sad, what a waste of a life.

rlt,
melodrama? No, fact of life. Thoughts of the effect my actions would have on our son also kept me in the flesh and blood world.
And yes, what that tragic lady did likely happens more than anybody knows, "accidents" that are not what they seem.

I know of at least three suicides because of adultery. The impact on society is not what it should be. I guess if it doesn't happen to someone, it is not a big deal. On the other hand, how many cases of someone who experienced adultery on the part of their spouse and then went on to do it themselves.

Sad.

Larry

Who,

I my gosh, how awful. I have so often thought of the same way to just feel relief from the pain, but it's my kids who keep me going. Though somedays even that didn't seem worth it.

For all those who are going through this and are suffering this excruciating pain, I just have to believe the G-d has a plan for us that will be revealed and awesome one day.

Please trust that everything that happends in G-ds world is happening for a reason and nothing, absolutely nothing happens by mistake.

Her family is in my prayers,
SG

This is so sad.

I remember having those feelings after my WH first affair. I even had a plan, my IC at the time meade me sign a contract that I would call him or WH if I was going to hurt myself.

That seems so long ago although after his latest affair there was plenty of time I didn't want to get out of bed or just wished for God to take me during the night so the pain would stop. I'm am so gald I am no longer in that place.

Still

Still,

How are you doing? What's going on in your situation?

SG

Skin,

I'm doing extremely well right now... I am now on the road to healing for me and my kids. Never thought I would get to this point but I actually have let go.

At this time I do not want my WH back as he is and I don't see him changing in the forseeable future. His loss.

Check out my thread....it's now day 5 and I am still feeling good. That is a major record for me.

Don't know much about your situation but I will check it out. All I can say it was a struggle but time does help.

Sorry for the threadjack.

Still

Still,

My husband showed the drop of a sign of coming out of the fog last Thursday night when he found out his OW was out smoking crack. He met with me on Sunday and was at a point where he realized he could see that I have changed and we could have a good life. He was scared that things would go back to the way they were. And he believes that with HUGE amounts of work he could have something very special with her.

He even went so far as to say that he has kinda recreated what he had with me regarding the problems with her. In only 2 1/2 months.

He was planning to have a talk with her about their relationship and he was going to make a choice on what he was going to do.

I received an email last night telling me to give him a call when I have time. I could tell by the way he worded it he is back into the fog completely and wants a life with her. It crippled me for a little while, but I managed to get through it and fall asleep.

I wrote him this letter last night
Hi,

I have news about the house. Real has made an offer on the house that I think is a win-win situation for all concerned.

He would take over our house payments starting in September, do the renovations on the house and have it up for sale by January. And we would split the net profits 50/50.

We could begin moving out of the house September 15th or you could begin moving your stuff out as soon as you wanted.

The reason I think this is an outstanding offer is for a few reasons
1. He will pay off the lawsuit that I received in the mail from Soos Creek which is for $3500.00.
2. He will give us $5000.00 to pay off your portion of the car loan. I received a letter from them in the mail today and they called saying it was urgent for you to contact them.

I believe this will accomplish our objectives of reducing our debt and moving on with our lives either separate or together. If it is separate I am asking for ½ of each paycheck each week to pay for raising the boys and once the house is settled and we pay off all our bills together, get out of debt and decide what is next. At that point we can talk about finances once again.

I would like to meet with you on Friday afternoon when you get off work. I will be there around 2:30 – 3:00 as I have an appt at 1:00. Upon your approval of this deal, we can go to the bank and have things notarized, and Real will cut us a check for the car loan.

If you would like to be completely out of the loop and have no responsibility during this time, I am offering for you to sign over Power of Attorney or Quick Claim Deed the house and I swear to you on my new life and my word that once our bills are paid off and you are choosing to move on, we will split the profits 50-50.

This is his response to the email.

When did Real approach you with this? I estimate that we would split less than 50k after his share. Probably less than20k for in actual dollars. Is that ok with you? We will talk and no Im not going to be out of the loop.
Thank you and Im glad your 5th step went well.

I believe that he is totally back in the fog and commited to the relationship with her because he can have something special with a crack head who has multiple health problems. Rather than a complete family with his children and wife.

I still want my WH back, but somehow and with hard work, I am committed to making a new life for my children and learning to live a different way. I don't know what the outcome of this will be, it's in G-ds hands, but I do know that I love him and hope that he comes out of the fog one day when the timing is right.

I'm really scared for him because I really believe something is wrong with him, but maybe this just is par for the course of an A and he is so far into his addiction.

What do you think?

I am glad that things are going better. How are you on the road to healing, what are you doing?

SG

Skin,

Started a thred for you.....

Still

Still, where do I find it and how did you do that?

SG

Skin,

Look for title that says "Skin.... so we don't TJ.

It shouldn't be that far down. I'll bump it up for you.

Still