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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 246
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 246 |
My former SIL is getting married in August and we were on good terms until I exposed the affair of my ex-H. Should I send her a wedding gift or at least a card to wish her well? She and I are the same age and had good relationship before my ex-H went wayward. I want to be a classy person and I want her to know I have nothing against her.
Looking forward to a new chapter since D was finalized on 4/24/07 from WH.
"I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,736
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,736 |
What does she want? It's her day, it's her life.
Why not just ask? Say, I've never been divorced and never had a former SIL, how do you wish to handle this?
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,531
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,531 |
I'd be inclined to send a gift, or at least a card. When you say you were on good terms UNTIL the exposure, do you mean you are on bad terms now? Or is it just that you don't communicate any more due to the awkwardness of the whole situation?
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 246
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 246 |
We haven't talked since the exposure because it is awkward. We're not on bad terms. Just no talking terms because his family doesn't really know what to say. I'd love to hang out with her again but it's extremely awkward being that my Ex-H is her blood. I'd love to send a congratulatory card and gift but I don't want Ex-H and SIL to think I'm acting desperate. But at this point, he's still with the OW and I did nothing wrong except try to save my M. Maybe I shouldn't even worry about what my Ex-H thinks anymore, right??? It's not about him. It's about me being respectful to the SIL, right???
Looking forward to a new chapter since D was finalized on 4/24/07 from WH.
"I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,717
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,717 |
I would think a card and a small gift is appropriate. It doesn't sound like you are at odds with her.
Perhaps a gift certificate to the store where she is registered. This way she can get what she wants and she won't really connect it to you. A cash gift is easier yet.
I think either would be well received and unlikely to be returned to you.
Also, as another poster suggested, when in doubt, ask. Call her, explain the awkwardness and ask if she would be accepting of a small gift from you.
ba109
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 256
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 256 |
ready2wait,
Her brother hurt you, betrayed you… worst than a rape. You have made that clear haven’t you? It would seem difficult to see how a relationship with an X-SIL could respect that?
You could ask her, but please be careful, she may try to rationalise what her brother is doing to you still, and water down his infidelity.
May I suggest giving "I Promise You"? With a “best wishes” card.
Last edited by DLK21; 08/04/07 05:24 AM.
BS44 XW33 0kids M6“01
DDay8“05 Plan A 8“05 S Harley
XW preg OM due 5“08
D 4"08
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 256
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 256 |
My post may seem harsh. I'm sorry for that.
I'm the God Father of my SIL's son. I'm thinking of asking her to find someone else. She has not talked to me in any way that is not going along with the adultery/divorce and I feel so hurt. I feel it is like... rape of my marriage.
DLK
BS44 XW33 0kids M6“01
DDay8“05 Plan A 8“05 S Harley
XW preg OM due 5“08
D 4"08
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