My parents have been happily married for 60 years. Today was their anniversary, but there was no party because my father is in the process of dying. He has congestive heart failure and metastic prostate cancer.

He looks like a survivor of a concentration camp, a very pale skeleton. He is mostly bedridden, but can be pulled up and helped to the kitchen for meals.

Mom's emotional needs haven't been met for a couple of years. Although they loved to hike together for years, that has stopped. He can't do the SF thing anymore. Domestic support is out as she spends all of her time taking care of him. Physical attraction is a thing of bygone years.

I've been blessed to be able to be here and assist in what they need. My job gives me time off to care for a loved one.

But as I watch mom care for him, and lovingly take care of his needs, the real meaning of "till death do us part" is apparent. She bends over his still form on the hospital bed and rubs cream on his tired body. He holds onto her shoulders to make the trip to the kitchen for his favorite dish. He is restless at 4:00AM and she gets up and comforts him.

He tells her how glad he is that he married her, and that he doesn't want to die and leave her alone.

I am grateful that they have been willing to share this time with me. They have continued to teach me what real love is.

That's fantastic Believer. What a wonderful family you came from. God Bless your wonderful mom.

O.k., will someone pass me the tissues please....

What a sweet and sad story. The closer they are, the harder it will be for him to be gone. But her wonderful life with him will give her comforting memories. That's the kind of life I want too.

Thanks for sharing that story Believer.

Thanks for responding, Big K. I read your wife's post today, and was very proud of her. You have a wonderful partner.

Mopey - I have hopes for everyone here that they can achieve a wonderful marriage. My parents had many hard times, but they stuck together. That is my prayer for the folks on MB.

They've got it, believer!

-AD

(Tissues, please!)

Thanks Believer - I'm pretty proud of her myself.

Prayers to your parents as they go through this hard time.

My dear Believer,

Thanks for sharing your parents story. You've shown how true love transcends all. It isn't about what we can get or even give but how we treat each other.

Hugz to you and your parents. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Aloha,
L.

(((((believer)))))

"Old Fashioned Vows"...they really ARE what commitment to a marriage is all about. Actions DO speak louder than words and children DO learn about love by observing more than hearing.

God waits...to bring us to our new home with Him.

May God continue to make His presence, peace and comfort known to you and your parents.

God bless.

Believer your mum & dad must be going through a tough time & still they show how it should be, not duty but love. I'm sorry to hear of your dads illness and will pray for all of you.

AW

Believer,

I had exactly the same situation when my Dad had colon cancer. My Mom took care of him day and night. She got no rest at all until he passed away in 2003, but she doesn't regret for a minute that she was there for him. Unfortunately, she is now in a nursing home with someone else caring for her. You're right - THAT is true love

Your parents are in my thoughts and prayers....

(((((((((((B)))))))))))

Thanks for sharing.

from: Dear Beloved, I still Love You by Jean Darby

It has been two months since you said good-bye. Or is it two years? Three? Maybe a dozen? My heart aches and time means nothing. I reach for you and my arms come back empty. I drift in space. There is no one to hold me now.

You had been ill for a long time when the doctor told me something was taking you. "It’s a mystery," he said, "I don’t know what it is."

I thought, it’s angels, but I didn’t tell him.

I kissed your forehead. You didn’t stir, but I think you knew I was there. I believe you heard me say, "I love you."

I dared to wonder . . . could you recall the night we rode across the desert and promised to love forever? Could you remember how we held each other . . . the first time we made love . . . our first quarrel and how we made up? Could you recall telling me our baby girl came from heaven?

That’s what you said, and I cried.

Some people believed I took care of you for too long. They said I was brave, but they didn’t know us. Dearly beloved, it was my privilege.

I miss you but I try not to cry. Crying would be unfaithful to what you believed.

You are with our Father in heaven. Your guardian angel hovers close by. And so I wait . . . and wait for that precious day when we meet again.

Hugs B. I can relate to this exactly. My father was housebound for his last 2 years. My mum did exactly what your mother is doing.

We also appreciated the time we had with him. He was clear as a bell in his head and was still funny until the day he died.

The one story we all love telling is when he was in hospital just before he died. He was attached to all sorts of tubes and machines and the nurse said "now don't go trying to get up - call one of us if you need help." then she added "I'm sure you're not used to being all tied up like this."

My father, bless him, said "No, only when we use the handcuffs at home." My mother blushed and said "Oh goodness, you're terrible" and the young nurse nearly wet herself laughing.

B,
Your parents seem like they have had a blessed life. It is so sad that the endings need to be so hard at times, but I am glad that you are all getting the chance to love your father during his final days.
Obviously the lessons they have been able to pass on(by example) are pricelsss. The love they are displaying for one another right now is a glimpse into their souls.
I am both happy and sad for you at the same time. Be well and find the blessings in this difficult time.
MEDC

what a great example of love as God intended it to be.

Thanks for sharing that, believer.

Beautiful. God Bless your parents!

I'm so , so sorry. it makes everything else seem irrelevant doesn't it? So sorry for you and for them. What a beautiful union theu have.

{{{{{Believer}}}}} Thank you for sharing with us what true, deep, enduring love is all about. The love of your parents I'm sure influenced what a loving, giving person you are. HUGS!

Hugs -
Prayers for all of you.

Thanks for sharing.

SS