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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2 |
I'm new here and not really sure where to post this. It's an odd problem I think. My husband and I have been married for 8 years and have 5 kids. When I was about 6 months pregnant for the first time another woman came up who was 8 months pregnant. It was before my hubby and I were together, and a one time thing, so as upsetting as it was, we worked through it and have had some contact with the child. I am friendly with the mother, while H has no contact with her. So H was leaving for Iraq for the second time and we took the kids to a theme park where we ran into his ex-fiance, who we found out has his 11 year old son. She had told him when she got pregnant that it wasn't his and broke off contact. So he never questioned. The mother of this child is being friendly with me, and I am returning the friendliness, but my heart isn't in it. I don't want to deal with this. I don't want to take care of another child that isn't mine. I feel incredibly selfish and angry. And I'm angry at H for having all these things that pop up and intrude on our life. When I asked him if this was it or if there was anyone else, he said he didn't know. I can't really talk to him, because he's gone now, and I don't want to upset him because of the stress he's already under going to Iraq. So I'm left with no one to talk to and I'm getting angrier instead of working through my feelings. I guess I just want to know how I can figure out how to accept this situation without totally hating my H and blaming him for all of this. Or if I should just pack up and leave and let him deal with the mess he's made of his own life. I do love him more than anything, but I'm on the verge here and I just don't know how I'm going to make it.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970
Member
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Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970 |
Welcome to MarriageBuilders, Mumm...
I think the best forum for your post (you can cut and paste it) is in the Infidelity: Pregnancy/Child forum. Doesn't sound to me like you believe he was unfaithful while creating these children. In that forum, though, they deal with OC (other children) in their COM (children of marriage) lives and their marriage.
We all make it the same way...one single day at a time.
As for accepting...be real and accept this is what is...acceptance is not approval...that's different. Definitely a situation where deep anger, pain and fear are reasonable emotions to have.
Please read all the articles on this website. Basic Concepts is a solid place to start.
You are not alone.
LA
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