Post deleted by 22devastated

Has he talked to his doctor about this?

There are other things than the blue pill - and if his docs know about the issues, they may be able to change meds to something with less side effects.

I'd go to the doc first.

JinGA

Actually, we are still in the adjusting the medicine phase.
He has a real problem with fatique and BP too low, so we are taking 2 wk intervals to get him adjusted to these more immediate problems, but when we ever get him feeling like he's not death warmed over, we will address this with the Dr. He's just been really sick. we've had 4 different adjustments so far, each with a little better result. He is just so tired and sluggish. We recently had a vacation and he was asleep by 7:30 or 8:00 every night.

22,
My H takes Lipitor and it has had an impact on his libido as well. Of course when he spoke with the doctor about that little blue pill, the doctor said it was most likely psychological. Well, yes and no. The need for the little blue pill came when he was dealing with his affair (which I found out later). The decrease in libido is from meds (according to him and I would agree with that since we have come so far in recovery). There are other products out there for your H to take. Have him talk to his doctor--especially his cardiologist. And work to meet emotional needs another way. ;o) Seems like you only have input from the wives here, but hope it helps. Take care and be blessed.
SS

Hi 22Dev,



There's so much pride involved, that could be why not many (if any) guys will admit to this. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

SS suggestions should help. Also, assure him of his significance and maintain his dignity as best as you can. And it's great that he's a cuddler. My Mr. Romance is now, too.

Ace

P.S. Thanks for the help with my movie project a couple weeks ago. It turned out great and I found a class I'm going to take soon.

I have been through the ringer on this one. My H had cancer in 2006, and his surgery left him very impaired for quite some time, and we had to do rehabilitation to help him recover SF (now doing better every day, thank you!!!).

I am going to talk very frankly here, for a reason. While my H and I were going through this very difficult time, NOBODY would talk to us in a no-holds-barred fashion. I wanted to KNOW things, and nobody would say it OUT LOUD. So here goes, with some things that really work.

Here's what I have learned, "hands-on", if you'll pardon the pun:

Lots of BP medications carry the side effect of ED. Talk to the doctor about changes that he might make. This is often medication related with these meds.

Also, there is an herbal supplement called Tribulus Extract that has been scientifically shown to assist in this regard. You should also again check with the doctor to make sure it does not interfere with his meds.

Please have him get his PSA tested. ED was the first sign of my husband's cancer. It was quite sudden, and he attributed it to emotion about the secret affair at the time. It was not - it was cancer. Please, I implore you for your husband's life, get his PSA blood test done as soon as possible. My husband's cancer was the aggressive type, and he was only 54 at the time. My BIL has since had the same thing happen, at 56.

Fatigue can affect function, so resting is an important factor. Make sure he is rested, and if he can get in an afternoon nap, try that. Capitalize on nature, and try morning SF, because this is the time that nature seems to give more of an "assist" with regard to male functioning if you know what I mean. It is also a time of somewhat higher libido for many men.

Timing may also be important for him, so don't wait until you are ready to go to bed for sleep. Try earlier in the evening for SF, when he isn't so worn out.

One thing that we found out is that there is nothing like the naked body of a woman held close to the naked body of a man to get things going. For us, my H had a long course of recovery. We knew that for many months, nothing was going to happen for him. But the stimulation was important, and we kept doing this every day or two anyway - because the nervous system, the body, well.....they needed to "remember", and needed the training in order to recover. And one day, something started to happen. Little by little, with patience, things came around. We aren't back to fully normal, but every time we are together, things are closer to normal than the time before. Progress is progress.

It's important to know that being open and talking about it as a medical issue, and not a personal issue, makes things easier. We talk about it now like we talk about feeding the cat - it isn't "my husband's performance", it is the neurological function. Which is what it is, in reality.

Patience on my part, and complete acceptance and non-judgemental love has been absolutely necessary. Sure, there have been times when I have wanted more, but he can't give that - so our pleasure comes from what we have to give each other outside of intercourse. And BTW, men CAN orgasm without an erection - surprised? I certainly was.


Finally, it's important to understand that SF doesn't always have to mean intercourse. There are so many ways to please one another. Search for them in loving ways. We did, and it was actually in this process that we were able to assist in his recovery and build his ability to regain full function for erections.

Against the medical odds. Go figure that.



SB