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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 213
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 213 |
Last edited by zoraziyal; 08/05/07 08:11 PM.
WW(me)-44
WH-49
Together 10 yrs
M 4 yrs
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 213
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 213 |
So I talked to my WH about EA's and he says that he doesn't 'buy into all that crap', is basically what he said.
I believe right now my H is having an EA with a co-worker at his job, but he just won't admit to it. His parents know, his friends know, even his current neighbors know and he's still not giving it up.
He said that he turned to this friend while I was in a mental hospital because she was the first person he saw when he went to work the next day. He says that perhaps he spent too much time with this person but she was there in his time of chaos.
I have no idea what to do anymore. I've exposed, I've ignored, and I've cried. What else am I supposed to do about something like this when a person doesn't believe that they've done anything wrong?
WW(me)-44
WH-49
Together 10 yrs
M 4 yrs
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 5,312
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 5,312 |
Z,
Sorry for your pain and your H's denial. You might change the title of this thread as it is a bit misleading....stating that it is a link to an article, when it is...but you are actually looking for help.
My H had an EA but he knew they crossed the line when they started having phone sex. (And when he kept the relationship a secret from me until confronted.)
Have you suggested counseling? Can you check further (phone or credit card bill or computer history) to see if you can gather undisputable proof of secret connections?
Not sure what else to tell you but hang in there over the slow weekend and others might pop in to help if you change the title of your thread.
Best wishes,
Ace
FWH/BW (me)57+ M:36+ yr.
4 D-Days: Jun-Nov 06 E/PA~OW#2 (OW#1 2000)
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 213
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 213 |
Thanks Ace. I actually added a similar question to my ongoing thread. But i will modify the title of this one.
My H is actually going to a counselor now. The counselor says that he basically became attached to this woman because she was a caretaker and I am not. She took care of him while I was not able to. It seems like the counselor is oking the behaviour?
WW(me)-44
WH-49
Together 10 yrs
M 4 yrs
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 5,312
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 5,312 |
Can you go to counseling together? Something doesn't sound quite right.
If you have another thread, it would be best to keep all your requests on that one if it's on GQII. This is the first one I saw b/c I wanted to read the article since I missed it on MSN. Thanks for posting the link.
I can't post during the day time much so my help is very limited. I'm sure others will help you though so hang in there.
Ace
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,813
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Zoraziyal,
After my H found out about my EA, I was also in denial about it and viewed it as “just close friendship” (I didn’t know about the existence of EA’s at the time), but reading this website and forum (including other articles on the subjects) opened my eyes and changed my wrong views and perceptions about it drastically. An excellent book on the subject is “NOT Just Friends” by Shirley Glass, but according to what you’ve said, it appears your H will not be receptive at this stage to ANY type of reading material.
Therefore, under the circumstances and with your H’s denial, joined counseling will probably be the best thing as others suggested. Just make sure you get a counselor who specializes in infidelity (including emotional infidelity) and are familiar and with the MB concepts and principles.
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