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Key Loggers?
#1920268 08/03/07 01:32 PM
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LoveHimForever Offline OP
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Just wondering if any of you out there who are now in a recovered relationship had to go the route of a key logger on your WW spouse's computer? And if so, were you glad you did? Did you find out some things about your spouse that you would rather not have known? Even if what you found out was not that he/she was still cheating, but other things about their online activity? Are you glad you found out the truth and went the direction of a key logger?

It's a thought I've begun considering for my own benefit. My hope is that I will find that his behaviour at home matches his behaviour outside our home, and that he can finally be trusted fully after the affair.

Thanks for your thoughts.

WS 48 BS 44 DD 6 Married 22 years DDay 5-20-06
Re: Key Loggers?
LoveHimForever #1920269 08/03/07 01:44 PM
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princessmeggy Offline
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I've only used a keylogger on my niece when she was staying with us for awhile and it paid off big time.

But with your spouse, WHATEVER he does online should not be a secret from you. If it is then there's something wrong.

Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
Re: Key Loggers?
princessmeggy #1920270 08/03/07 01:52 PM
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LoveHimForever Offline OP
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Yep, I agree. No secrets in marriage is one of the things that makes a solid marriage.

WS 48 BS 44 DD 6 Married 22 years DDay 5-20-06
Re: Key Loggers?
LoveHimForever #1920271 08/03/07 03:06 PM
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Quote
It's a thought I've begun considering for my own benefit. My hope is that I will find that his behaviour at home matches his behaviour outside our home, and that he can finally be trusted fully after the affair.

I think putting a keylogger on my H's computer the first year after D-Day did more to restore trust in our marriage than anything ELSE. My instincts about his faithfulness were in overreact mode at first, so I was suspicious of EVERYTHING. Being able to see his computer activity when he thought I was not looking enabled me to learn to trust him again. The ability to independently verify his activities was an enormous benefit.

It also allowed me to RELAX. I was no longer anxious about what he was doing when I wasn't around. It not only helped me relax and begin to trust him, but he benefited from the absence of constant QUESTIONING. I no longer had to ASK about what he was doing because I KNEW.

Quote
Did you find out some things about your spouse that you would rather not have known?

You should know EVERYTHING about your spouse, the good, bad and the ugly.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101

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