Hello Cowgirl in the sand,is this place at your command? Can I stay here for a while? Can I see your sweet,sweet smile? Old enough now, to change your name. When so many love you, is it the same? It's the woman in you that makes you want to play this game. Well,here we are. Annie is working with me in the business again and in little steps I can see some progress. She is not crying all the time like she was and is smiling more often. God, how I love to see her smile. A few weeks ago, I bought a set of roller-blades for us and it has been a wonderful recreation. We skate together alot and it seems to take the stressors away by bringing us a sense of normalcy. It's a rush! We made an agreement that she would stay at her sister's during the night and come to our house during the day. She revealed that she wanted to see other men and under protest I agreed. She said that I could see other women. What's wrong with this picture? The other morning we had clients to meet and she arrived at the house very late. I called her sister and was told she did not stay over that night. Can you imagine what went through my mind? When she arrived late I was told that she had met somebody through a dating service free trial offer. Now, she said that she would not seek anybody out but if someone approached her she would date them. She also agreed that there would be no sexual contact. Such was the basis of our agreement. We discussed,though I was hurt and angry, the details of her "date". She said they had dinner,talked all night,and that there wasn't any sexual contact. I have to trust her and take her word. I was told that he is one month into a divorce leaving a wife and kids. In this discussion he told her that one of the things he did to save the marriage was have a vasectomy. A vasectomy???????? Ashamed as I am to say it, men are a real piece of work. A perfect example of thinking with the wrong head. Men seem to think that removing the possibilty of pregnancy is so alluring to a woman that they will be so desirable and safe. But in reality,that is not always the case. First off, a vasectomy is more pleasing to the man because he doesn't have to use a condom which men hate. Second, what type of self-respecting man would reveal such an intimate detail on the first meeting with a total stranger? Third, did she have to know that,and if so,why? Finally,does this mean that because of the vasectomy he feels that he doesn't need to practice safe sex with all of the STD's around? In this day and age, that procedure outside of a monogamous relationship is as beneficial as screen doors on a submarine.He said that he had no sexual relations with his wife for two years. Gee, wonder why? I know when she reads this she will accuse me of reading into something not there. Not the case. Doesn't she realize that she is setting up the possibility of another affair and the damage it will cause? Why can't she see that the answer lies in my arms that ache for her and not in the empty words of men who seek egotistical mending on the rebound. Through all the burning hoops of fire that we have passed through and we are still together.She thinks that I am acting this way towards her now because another has found her desirable.Not true. I have allways found her desirable and love her with all my heart and soul and have told her so for the past nine years, not just on the first few days. When will she see my actions which shout over those empty words. Annie told me that I am under her thumb because I choose to. She said that she thinks I'm crazy and if she was in my shoes she wouldn't put up with it. Why can't she realize who I am? I will be patient.I know she still loves me and I hope she will open her heart to me again. If only she would forget the past ,trust me, and re-discover me as I have her.Life will be so tremendous for us if she would just take that simple step. Hello woman of my dreams, all is not as it seemed. Silver words on a gray background, to be a woman and to be turned down. Old enough now, to change your name. When so many love you, is it the same? It's the woman in you that makes you want to play this game. AnnieL's Joe.