Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 6
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 6 |
This is the second affair my WH has had in three yrs. This time he said he need to figure out what he wanted. Says he is not contacting OP. She lives in New York we live in Louisiana. He moved out almost four weeks ago. He has been out of town working for three weeks. Not in New York. He is coming visit us today and I mentioned I was reading Surviving an Affair and I am ready to do this. He said he would read it. Do I give it to him or not? I have read it more than once and I am ready to work it but he won't return home yet. He says his head says he wants to come home but it's not in his heart. When he first left he even said he couldn't cry for his own children. I am willing to give this marriage a chance but I don't know if I should give him the book. Please help.
BW 42
WH 43
DS 18
DD 13
DD 10
Married 21 yrs.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
Remind him that the very fact he can't cry for his children (which s/b a natural thing), is scary. Something wicked has grabbed his heart. Is he going to wait until his entire soul is engulfed? Tell him.
Yea, it's ok to give him SAA if he asks for it. If not, don't volunteer.
L.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 799
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 799 |
Luluee,
Tell your H that he won't see clearly until he's been away from the OW for enough time to go through withdrawal (usually lasting several weeks to several months). He must have NO CONTACT with her whatsoever. He won't be lucid until he gets through withdrawal. boards are slow on weekends...hang in there. You can do this.
Good job on reading SAA.
AKA
VowsRSacred/ VRS
Me 44 WH 46
dd Mar 7 06
Dday 2 Jan 19 07 EA and PA
DD 19
DS 10
DS 7
DD 4
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
147
guests, and
46
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,659
Posts2,323,613
Members72,372
| |
Most Online9,682
May 13th, 2026
|
|
|
|
|
|
