Hello

I am a new member - Heartbroken BS.

Briefly, my H works in America for three months at a time. We are from the UK but are presently living in Australia. I have just found out that he has been having an A for the last 12 months whilst he has been working in America.

What I want to know is: is there any way I can check his American cell phone via the internet. I obviously have his cell phone number but that is all. Basically, he has said that he is going to end the A and there will be no contact. I know her cell and home numbers. I need to know (for the next three months) that he is not ringing her.

I need to be able to know every call he has made from his cell phone.

Is there a website that anybody knows of that can help me. I am prepared to pay (though not loads of money).

My only other alternative is to contact my H's business partner (who looks after the phone bills) but I would rather not do this.

I hate been a sneak but I would prefer not to involve his business partner in this sordid affair. It is for my own peace of mind more than anything. H has said he will end the A and have No Contact. I need to be sure.

If anybody knows of a good genuine website that can help me please let me know.

Thank you

Kimleigh2

Do you know who the cell phone company is?

Hi AmIok

No I don't know anything other than his (WS) cell no and the land line and cell no of the OW.

Is this do-able.

Hope you can help.

Kimleigh2

Kim,
There is a thread on here call Spying 101, its very helpful for what you are looking to do. Do not feel bad!!! If he has nothing to hide, you will prove that to yourself

Basically, what you need to do is find out online, using his phone number, what phone company he has. I know that with Verizon, youc an set up oline access. If you can set up an online account without him knwoing, you can see every single phone call and text message he makes. Thats what you need to do.

Hope that helps!!

Go online and do a "reverse look up" on your H's cell phone number.

That will tell you who the carrier is.

Bring that back here and let us know...most carrier's have online bill access.

If this phone is set up under a business account, I doubt you'll be able to get access unless it's a very informal company and they put them each in their own names.

Thank you everybody for your advice.

I did the reverse number thing and it came up with Sprint Communications but it said it was a land line - its a cell phone.

Also, my H's business partner looks after the phone bills etc so I don't know whether they will be in his name, the company name or H's name.There are only two of them in the business.

I would feel really bad involving H's business partner in this and it would make me feel like a real sneak. I don't know what the business partner would think of me. I have never met him.

All this snooping really goes against the grain with me. I am generally a very trusting person.

The weird thing is my WH knows this and I like to think that him knowing this has given him enough of a guilty conscience to be honest with me in the future. He knows how much honesty and trust means (and has always meant) to me. Didn't stop him having the A though!!

Thanks again

Kimleigh2

Did you say he has been involved in this A for a year? I want to encourage you to speak to his business partner, especially if you think he is supportive of you and your marriage. Since your H is away from you now and in the vicinity of OW (if I understand the situation) it makes it very difficult for you to determine if there is really no contact. You need all the help you can get. A year is a long time and he is undoubtedly still very foggy about the situation--how could he hurt her feelings--at the least there will be that fog.

Do you know the name of the OW? You should find out all you can about her.

What makes you think he will have no contact? How did you find out about the affair?

Tell the people here a little more about your situation so that you can get more help.

Do not feel bad about spying! I hate it too... but if he is clean, won't that be such a huge relief???

Business phones are hard... but I would go to the Sprint website and see if you can set up an online account in his name, without him knowing. If he already has one set up with his password, then you can't access it unless you get his password... say, with a keylogger on the computer?

I think chances are slim his business partner would help you. He would most likely be loyal to your H.

A suggestion I am thinking of trying, is to set up a digital voice activated recorder in the car... thats where the WS almost always talk to the OP. May have to listen to lots of boring radio music, but one phone call could tell you a lot.

My WXH was calling his OW on his Sprint cell phone.

I went into the Sprint office and (still being his wife at the time even though he'd moved out) I just told them that I didn't get the last cell phone bill in the mail. I'm surprised it worked because I'm sure they could see that it had been being mailed to his P.O. box for over a year but he told me I could easily go online to check the bill and borught it up on his computer screen for me!! THEN he printed it out for me to take!!!!! THEN he voluntarily pointed out to me the most frequently called number!!!!! OW's phone number of course
(Maybe the guy at Sprint giving me the info was an anti-adultery poster here at Marriage Builders? LOL)

I din't tell WH right away what I'd found out. I checked the Sprint bills from my computer at home the next month and made printouts. The password for the Sprint online bill account was the same one my WX used for his checking acct - a password he had told me before he moved out even though it was only his name on the checking account. Maybe on some level he wanted to get caught?

Where in the U.S. is your husband on business?
Maybe there are some posters here who can check up on him?

OK this is so funny:

I just got this idea of a huge network of volunteer private investigators checking up on possible wayward spouses LOL.

Hey, the adulterers have their share of services that help them with alibis don't they? I've heard of internet sites that help adulterers cover their trax... (for a fee) Why not a network of free volunteer services for helping to catch them?

I certainly wouldn't mind doing a good deed now and then - taking some photos and collecting evidence of adultery for a wondering, worrying betrayed spouse!

I personally would contact the business partner - wouldn't care what he thought of me. And ALL my friends and relatives KNOW that if they cheat and I know about it I WILL tell LOL!

I did hear of some tv show about catching cheaters (I don't have cable).

Also I did see something on tv once about women hiring decoy women flirts to test the men they are engaged to before they get married. The decoy would be very attractive (I think they hired models) and would show up at one of the man's usual hangouts and start a conversation. If he asked for (or accepted if she offered) her phone number the marriage was off!

I'm seriously thinking of developing and leading office-place workshops to prevent workplace adultery. And you know what? I think it would be a really good idea to incorporate (no pun intended) workplace accountability partners to prevent adultery. Imagine how hard it would be to start skipping down the slippery slope of 'harmless' things like flirting, complaining about your marriage, and going out to lunch if you knew your office accountability partners regularly reported to your spouse LOL!

Sort of like guardian angels to protect marriages. Why do so many people help adulterers hide what they're doing, or at least fail to expose (enabling while pretending neutrality), while the vast majority of betrayed spouses have little to no free help when it comes to accountability?

Kimleigh, both suggestions above by meremortal may be very helpful! It could be as simple as playing dumb with the phone company... probably more effective to go in to the store where you might get a goofy, 16 year old clerk, than to call on the phone where you get a cranky phone operator who is trained not to give out information <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You can trace the OW's phone number with www.anywho.com and I've had some luck with cell phone traces at online pay sites, but I can't remember which one I used <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> It was like $15.95 per phone number.

Hi meremortal

Thanks for your advice. It would be great to have someone spy on my WH. I can't afford a PI at the moment.

I live in Australia and WS is currently on business in America - which is were the A started. You can imagine how hard this situation is for me.

If you want the full details I am on the Just Found Out thread under - New member - heartbroken spouse.

My WH is currently working in the Detroit area. I am secretly hopng that you are in that area also.

I would also be happy to be an unpaid PI.

Look forward to hearing from you.

kimleigh2

Hi obedientone

I have a huge problem with the phone thing in that I am in Australia and my husband and his phone are in America. His phone is an American one from Sprint I think. Obviously I can't go into the shop and also I think his phone may be registered under the business name. His business partner deals with all the phone bills.

I think I may have to contact him (BP) and ask him to help me.

Thanks for your advice.

kimleigh2

I'm not near Detroit, or else I'd love to help! Anyone else?