From Penalty Kill

dkjj, ark had such a great post, I wanted to quote some parts of it.


This is so true. It's the nature of kids - your kids, my kids, anybody's kids. In parenting, you really have to set your gratification meter to a long delay!


Yep. You may have to exercise colossal restraint, but it will pay off down the road.


That's what it is for all of us. We're the only ones that we can do anything about.


This is so important. Get your H on board with this idea via counseling, parenting books, what have you. Parents must be a united front. My H sees the value in that now, and he didn't always.

My father and step-mother walked me down the aisle at my wedding. My mother didn't want to have anything to do with the wedding - she was afraid she might have to pay a bill! She later stormed out of the wedding in a huff, with her 3rd H in tow <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> She's on #4 now. So believe me, I know about mothers with priorities other than their children!

My stepmother didn't gripe about my mother, though looking back, I'm sure she had ample cause. She did so much for us, and amazing as it is to contemplate, I wasn't always an easy, wonderful child <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> Believe me, we had our differences.

She's also been a great grandmother to my children, the one who did the most with them.

Delayed gratification. It's waiting for you if you make the right moves.

PK

Yanno...oh never mind. I don't even know what to say to this. It's beneath a response from me.

To all -

There are actually some children who will end up with parents who get divorced, where both parents will be very loving, active, involved in these kid's life. These parents are the only parents these kids have ever known.

A remarriage is highly likely for at least one of the parents, some times as on these boards it will be very quickly as well.

Now the children whose lives have been turned upside down, basically the universe as they know it, because for a child their universe is basically their family, has been shattered in two.

But no matter, because a stranger is going to enter into their lives and become a brand new third parent (non-bio parent as you put it) who may have his own ideas about religion, child rearing, child discipline...but it's all good because he loves these children as his own. Eff dad, cuz he's not here, but I am and I'm step dad, so it's my rules now.

And so on, you get the picture of what it's like for children who are not quite as lucky as your step-children and whose parent does not give a rats behind about them.

But the other parent does care, the dad. And he is protected by a court order who says who has legal rights to parent these children. Him and the childrens mother. That's it. No step parents are named on this legal document, just the parents. So dad has recourse. He can go into a court of law and tell the judge that the judges own court order is being violated. There is a step parent slapping his kid around, teaching him some strange religion and visiting his child's classroom without his permission. The judge says this is in direct violation of MY custody order that lists who this child's parents are.

So this dad's rights to parent his child, and his children's rights to not be parented by anyone other than their legal PARENTS are protected.

I fought long and hard to protect my daughter's right to be parented by her dad and I, and no one else. And to protect mine and her dad's rights from a step parent whose views differed from our own.

There are many people on this board and in this world who need to know they can fight back, that their rights as parents are protected, and that their children are protected.

For those of you on this thread who have experienced it the way you have and it has worked out for you than good for you, and your step kids.

This poster seemed surprised that her step kids loved their mom. Imagine that, kids who actually love their mother.


T