I'm done crying and feeling sorry for myself. I've lost any desire to save my marriage. A month ago I felt completely different, though. Now I'm just angry. I'm angry when he calls the kids, talking about all the fun things they're going to do over the weekend. Like fun trips make up for what he's done! I have to pray that God will clamp my mouth shut everytime I have to deal with him.

Hi,

Sorry for what you and your family are being put through.

Please read the stages of grieving thread in my sig link. It doesn't give time frames, just info so you know what may lie ahead.

You seem determined already. Have you read SAA (Harley) or Love must be tough (Dobson)?

L.

I've read Love Must be Tough several times. It really helped me. I think I've reached my limit, though. I've been doing battle for my marriage for years, really. I've felt, in my heart, that I'm done wanting my marriage to be saved for a month now. I'm kinda disappointed with myself. Maybe I never really wanted my marriage to work out as badly as I thought I did. Maybe God is taking away those intense emotions of wanting him to come back, so I can heal and move on.

not to discourage you but i stayed angry for a few YEARS.. it has only been recently that i have been able to completely let go and say i truly do not care anymore and i am not angry anymore...

guess i had a LOT of anger.

mlhb

That's not discouraging. This whole thing has changed me, for better or worse. Right from the beginning I knew this was gonna be a long road. It has really helped to know that I'm not the only one traveling it.

I've had several angry phases... In fact I was very angry for a couple of days earlier this week! I wish I could tell you how long the anger lasts but I don't know and have been wondering the same thing myself. The first year or two of this mess I noticed sometimes people wouls ask me: "Don't you ever get angry?" Of course I did but more privately - like I would come here to vent (once I found this place). I think people asked me that because sometimes when I would be telling them the stupid things my WH was saying I would literally be laughing. I mean it just all seemed so ridiculous to me. I didn't know about the fog-talk yet.

I remember reading once that anger isn't the opposite of love - indifference is. Won't that be nice? When we really just don't give them any thought any more? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

MLHB OT: I just noticed where you live. I'm in CNY and sometimes have work that takes me to the Adirondacks.