We had a session with Jennifer Tuesday night. It went well, I told her that things were a little shaky for me, that it just felt like something wasn't right. Not that my W was doing anything wrong.

Jennifer asked if we were meeting the 15 hours together goal. I honestly hadn't even thought about that. It turns out that we aren't maybe 7-8 hours a week avg. She went on to say how important the 15 hour goal is.

It makes perfect sense to both of us. I mean the whole idea that we wouldn't have fallen in love in the first place if we didn't spend that amount of time together.


My question is this.. While my wife and I both work and have children . How does anyone "find" the extra 9 or so hours to be alone with their spouse? Does anyone have a creative way to "make" time? I realize that television and movies are out of the question.

We did manage to schedule 1-1/2 hours a night during the week. That leaves us with 7-1/2 hours to fill during the weekend. I realize that this is an important part of the whole MB concept, and I am willing to see that it happens.


I guess I am just asking for some creative ways to spend that missing time exclusively with my wife.

OK...I don't know your wife's EN's, but I know that MY wife greatly appreciates "domestic support". For her, its big time love credits if I help her clean up around the house.

Now...I used to HATE it. I used to resent doing it, drug my feet...basically turned the whole thing into a major ordeal.

Then I got smart. Its got to happen anyway...no getting around that. But instead of being a jerk about it, we've made it into more of a game for the two of us. I help her clean, but we flirt and laugh and joke around...and it ends up being a deposit for BOTH of us.

Also...set up a date night! We don't hit it every week, but we DO hit it most of the time. Ours is Friday night. Tonite, we're going to a good place for an early dinner, and gonna hit Bourne Ultimatum (my wife loves that series as much as I do). Even if its the only time that you guys ever use a sitter, finding a GOOD sitter for something like this is worth it! Finances are always tight for us...but this is an investment in your marriage! Try to work something out...it helps more than you'd think! Taking good "mommy and daddy time" is also good for your kids...they'll see the two of you investing in your marriage. They'll have happier, more 'in love' parents. They'll learn what kind of things that they should do when THEY get married...and maybe it'll help teach them to AVOID the stuff that you went through!

Nice to hear from you again, CD.

Thanks Owl,
We did mention movies to Jennifer during our session. She said "NO WAY" that doesn't count because , you can't give each other your undivided attention. I will try the domestic support angle. The work needs to get done anyway might as well make it fun.

I can see her point about the "undivided attention". That's what the dinner before hand was for too.

I don't know if this is possible for you or not, but another compromise I made...

I'm a morning person by nature. My wife is a night owl. (pun intended!) In the past, we'd go to bed about 10 or so. But this was a source of contention for her...she didn't have to get up when I did, but wanted to stay up later and sleep in. We compromised. We now go to bed around 11. The kids normally head to bed about 10 so that they've got sleep for school. That gives us that extra hour in the evening to sit and talk. She knits and crochets...often I'm doing something with my hands then too...but the main ghist of that time is actually spent talking and just "being with each other".

In the end, turned out to be worth losing that little bit of sleep.