No sleep for me tonight..between a thunderstorm and busy mind. I havent posted in a couple days. I have been thinking much about what has been said to me on MB and doing as much reading as possible.

I have been reading Codependent No More as was suggested to me. I had read it a number of years ago when I was dealing with earlier issues with one of my sons. Although when I read it the first time, I definately saw myself, but not to the degree that I do as I am reading now. I cant get through a paragraph without underlining..circling, starring, etc.

I have a counseling appt. tomorrow with lots to talk about.

I have been reading about Plan A/B and I get the basic idea, but am looking for a little more detail. Would it be in Surviving an Affair? I have the book but have been unable to find it...

My H came over to discuss finances. As usual, things were very pleasant. He had talked earlier about getting an apartment, but finances wouldnt support that. I put together a budget and there arent lots of areas to cut.

He is always kind to me. He calls me 'hon'..gives me a kiss or hug. When I ask about where he is at it returns to the same thing that he has been saying. I dont respect him and he doesnt think that I can help myself. He is not going to be yelled at anymore. I have not 'yelled' at him since the last affair. I find his comments about being "yelled" at interesting/irritating. As I think is pretty common, our history together has been totally rewritten, and who I am has been very distorted. However there is a bit of truth in everything he says and I want to hear that part and respond.

This addiction/codependency thing has made things a bit more complicated. The church I go to is starting a group in October for codependents. I am going to go.

I am a bit confused about do I or do I not ask him to come home. I had already mentioned to him earlier about him coming home and he has not responded. I asked him to think about it.

I am trying to Plan A to the best of what I understand about it. It was mentioned in another post about the carrot and stick of plan A, but have not been able to find more info. I spoke to a friend who leads AA meetings and he said I need to disengage. Plan A/disengage...?????

I understand the need for a plan. It is just knowing what the plan should be. Any thoughts??