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#1927342 08/14/07 01:47 AM
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It's been almost a year since last d-day. I've worked hard this last year to save my marriage, now that things seem ok I'm second guessing my decision to stay. This is my H 3rd affair in our 8 year marriage. 1st was a one night stand, 2nd was emotional along with some kissing, (not sure I got that whole story), 3rd was last year which put me through 3 different d-days. Things are ok, he's here and working it out just not sure if I did the right thing. Paranoid this will happen again. I don't want to keep throwing the A in his face, I want to forgive but I just can't forget all the hurt and pain... Is is too late to walk away? Is that the smart thing to do? Is there any statistics on repeat offenders?? Just not sure....


me- BS 35 FWH- 33 0 children 1st D-Day 4/23/06 A never really ended... H still worked with OW 2nd D-Day 8/26/06 OW left job 3rd D- Day, 9/23/06 Started MC with SH 9/20/06 Completed about 10 sessions Working on Recovery!
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U need closure and help. What is he willing t/d in that dept?

Have you read SAA and HNHN? Can you call Steve H?

L.

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Hi Daisy,

Well who can blame you for feeling like you do? He must be one special man for you to put up with so much. You must be a really special person to be so committed to your marriage.

I haven't read any of your other threads so apologies if my suggestions seem out of place or repeating what others have said.

You don't have to forgive and forget. Have you read what Harley says on the subject? http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5042_qa.html.

It sounds like your marriage didn't get properly fixed after the last two As. Now's your chance to do it right this time.

[Edit: didn't see info in your sig about MC with SH]

Last edited by MindWarped; 08/14/07 09:06 AM.
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>>> I want to forgive but I just can't forget all the hurt and pain...

daisey, if you aren't able to forgive 100% completely, recovery will be very tough for you. i speak from personal experience. i thought i had forgiven but still let the hurt and pain affect me. are you still doing MC with SH like your sig mentions? is your husband depositing effective love units to you in your MIENs.


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