Well I am glad that I don't scare you!!!

I couldn't sleep last night so had sometime to think about somethings that could've been said, to hint at wanting more. So will do better next time.

I do wonder if you aren't right and he is as scared or leary (I don't like that word scare) as I am about screwing up the friendship.

I know that we each come with some baggage, me kids and grandkids and all of those issues plus my parents being across the street, he has two sons one that graduated from HS this year and the other from college.

I don't if him and Teresa are friendly enough for her to do that, but I am sure she will say somethings that were said last night, they train again on Saturday!

Have a great day!

Dawn

You remind me of myself. Relax and enjoy. It sounds like bowling guy likes you. I dated a fireman for a few months and he had a savior complex (not a bad thing). It might help if you use that desire to help people to your advantage. Ask for help sometimes even if it's something you can do yourself. I'm learning to let my current BF help sometimes. I think being a strong woman is good but it is brutal on mem's egos so we need strong men.

Oh I agree 100% I've always done things for myself and I believe that that was part of the demise of my marriage as he didn't think that I needed him and the OW needed him more!

BG (Bowling guy) is strong, and does help out periodically when I need something. I am getting a new dishwasher and he is helping me to install it, I figure feeding him is cheaper then having to pay someone to install it!!!!

I've decided I am going to bump up the effort a little more and see, what happens. I just emailed him back saying that I hope that he didn't mind me stopping last night but seen all the vehicles with blue lights and they are a real turn on!!!

I've wondered about letting him see that I am looking or am interested in someone else. He has dated some and I haven't really. Just a thought.

Dawn

Hey Dawn,

I read and caught up a little on what's going on in your world.

On your question about letting the guy know that you are interested or that you are into someone else. If you do like someone else, you can let him know so he won't think you leading him on, if not, then there is no reason to tell him you are into someone else and this would make any guy back off.

For me, I say let things develop on their own. I read an article recently that asked the question, "Is he shy, or just not into to me?" The experts all said, "No matter how shy a guy is, if he likes you and you are giving him the time and attention, he'll find a way."

As for him snickering when he said a girl liked him. I wish men and women wouldn't do this. When a guy, any guy, shows me he is interested in me, and I am not, I keep that private out of respect for that person. I am flattered by anyone who is sweet enough to give me a compliment or tell me they want more, never ever would I laugh at them, and never would I tell others about it because I wouldn't want that guy to be embarrassed just because he shared his feelings.

Well, anyway, it's awesome you are getting out there and I hope things work out!

Anna

Ok I am done!!!! I don't need a knife in me to tell me that!

The only guys that are meant to be in my life right now are my 3 grandsons. They'll love me no matter what!!! I am so blessed to have them and to have all of the time with them that I do, I need to just focus on them.

I don't need the High School drama, I work in a HS so I get enough of it through the kids!!!!

Life is such a bummer sometimes, and the way I bowled tonight is too!!

Have a great Friday everyone, the temp here is to drop down in the 60's in the over night, so I am thinking that the grandsons and myself will have a"Firecamp" in our fire pit in the back yard tomorrow night.

C ya, Dawn

Hey Dawn, I am sorry if I said the wrong thing. I am not sure what I said that gave that response but I didn't mean it in a wrong way, I promise.

If it's over the comment I made about him snickering at the girl that made a pass, just because a person does one thing wrong doesn't mean he's all bad, sometimes if you point out to some one how wrong it is, a light goes off and they come around to your way of thinking. I have done things that are insensitive and had those things pointed out and then I think "What a jerk I was, and I will never do that again."

Anyway, please, please don't give up yet.

Anna

Anna,
It wasn't anything that you said. I promise!

I just feel like I am wasting my time with BG and that it won't ever be anything more then what it is. I just want more! I am so confused !

I am having a real difficult time, I am stuck in a rut and can't seem to find my way out of it, I have so much in my life, but no one has me. I want more then what I have and that is selfish and I know it.

I feel like is life is going by and I am stuck in this rut.

I am going to have a pity party and cry for a while and feel better in the morning when I get up! I hope!!! And start all over again!!!

I just want my prince to take me away!

Dawn

Hey Dawn,

I'm glad to hear it wasn't me. On the "pity party", it's good for us all the have a pity party now and then but just like a told a friend of mine recently, if we feed our brains negativity too much, our brains will believe it, almost like a form of brain washing. My friend was starting to go through a depression, she was saying more and more, I am never going to find anyone, I have to prepare for being alone the rest of my life, etc. etc., after we had a long talk on it, she started turning every negative thought into positive and it seems to be helping alot.


Take care and chin up.

Anna

Anna,
Thanks!!!

Dawn

I bowled league last night with BG this will happen til April.

It's so wierd I wish I could read minds.

I can touch him, give him high fives, put my hand on his back as I slide around to go bowl and it's like he leans in to it and likes it.

But then....when we got out to the trucks last night, it was "good night, cya".

He was a big flirt last night with all of the married ladies, like they are safe and it's ok, he is a fun flirt, nothing mischiveous.

I just don't get it, it's like we get to a point and he stops and backs off and then I don't see hide nor hair of him for a few days and then he is back like nothing happened.

Teresa was in the lunchroom just now and she said I think you and BG would be great together why don't you make the first move? I said cause I like the friendship and am not wanting to jeopardize that. She then called me chicken. I guess that I am!

I wish I trusted!!!

Dawn

BG is a good friend, and perhaps that is what we are meant to be!

I had issues with my son tonight and just need to do something other then dwell on the problem, so called BG about some other bowling stuff and we ended up talking for half an hour, I just needed a friend and he was there!!!

I sent him an e mail later and thanked him for that!!

Dawn

Ok Saturday was 1st week of kids bowling. So coaches had a meeting Friday night, BG shows up on motorcycle and I had said earlier in the week in an e mail that I would love to get to go out on bike this weekend. At this point I decided to ignore him unless I was needing to directly converse with him.

Meeting over he left and called later to see what kind of Candy I needed for kids. Nothing more then dumb dumbs will be fine.

Saturday morning, no communication or teasing like normal, just the minimal to get me by.

As we got done with kids and cleaning up area, he stated his afternoon plans, out on the bike and I said I don't like you, he asked why and I said you get to go have fun and I have to go home with Gkids.

So later that night my OD got off work and we went down to the bar/restaurant to listen to the band and visit, we haven't had that opportunity in a long time. We walked in and there sat BG, he said Hi I nodded and visited with some other people, OD and I went and sat in a booth and I was watched most of the night, I just ignored him, OD seems to think that this is a good approach. Walked out and patted him on the back and said to make sure he used that phone number he had if he needed to, someone else's not mine.

Got to the bowling alley last night to bowl, and again pretty much ignored, I am smiling and having a good time with all of the other bowlers, just not giving him any attention, not even all the high fives I should've I bowled good too!!!!

There is a couple that bowls with us and he is our age his kids are the same ages as my two older and he married younger and is having a nother family and I made the comment I really like that mine are GK and they go home. BG says yeah but you have them a lot, I do and I said yep I do as I have the time for them and no one else to share it with right now. So it's all good!!!! And then I bowled!

I stayed a few minutes longer to take care of paper work from 1st night. So didn't walk out with the other couple and gathered my stuff up to leave and said good night to the guy at the desk and left, was almost to the truck when BG caught up and made small talk about the weather being so nice and I said yep I am going to go set on my deck and and enjoy it, and pulled away.

Someone really does not like being ignored, kind of fun to watch his reactions.

Oh well that is the drama in that part of my life this week.

If anyone has anything that they would like to input please feel free to, even if it is get a life, you don't need this idiot, I need to hear that, too.

Dawn <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Well, do you want to be friends or more? I like your approach if you want more. And honestly, you don't sound like a woman who needs a friend. LOL.

With this weekend's approach, if he wants more, he has to come after you. If he doesn't, you'll soon get over it, and other eligible men will see you without the encomberance of BG.

So very true, We've been friends along time and yes I would like to see if there is more there and I guess maybe we can't do that if I am to easy, meaning that I am always available to talk with and stuff!!!!!

Like you said if not then I will finally know, as I've received lot's of mixed messages. And then I'll be able to move on.

I've been divorce almost 5 years, I have yet to date and I have a friend that was divorced 6 years with only 1 blind date in there, she ended up dating someone that she already knew and they ended up married within a year. So she tells me not to fret, but sometimes it's hard!

Dawn

being friends is good but when this guy gets serious with someone else, what's going to happen to that friendship? if it's like before, then that's gone too, and i realize you backed off out of respect. personally i want my wife to be my best friend. i think you are doing great so far.

Thanks,, For the responses, it's OGS b day this weekend so I left it to D and GS if they invite as I won't.

We'll see how that goes!

Again Thanks all for the encouragement!!

Dawn

I would be careful with ignoring him. He may pick that up as you are not interested at all, and stop the pursuit if he is actually pursuing. Us men sometimes have trouble picking up signals. I am scared of rejection personally, he may be as well which may prevent him from trying to really pursue you.

Honestly, I think a safe approach would be to tell him that you sometimes think about being more than friends, but would hate to jeopardize the friendship. Sounds like he may feel the same way!

Adam, I've been thinking along the same lines!!
Will what and see what the weekend brings!

Dawn

It seems like you have given a lot of mixed signals as well. It sounds like the guy likes you, it's just a matter of how much. If he's just scared, ignoring him could backfire. Of course, I never understood or was any good at all the dating games that people play.

Tell him that you would like his opinion on something. When you are alone, mention that perhaps he has noticed that you have been acting strange lately and it's because you have developed a crush on him. (Don't say that your kids think he would make a good husband for you.) If he looks like a deer in the headlights, give him a way out and tell him what a great friend he has been lately.

What's the worst that can happen? He might avoid you for a little while but you won't be wondering about it any more.

Why play all these games? Why not tell him how you feel, and then ask him how he feels?

Isn't that what an adult would do?