I set a move out date with my H. My H asked for some time while he got IC, and on his own he found and scheduled an IC. I told him I would give him till the first of the year to work on himself, but I feel even though he wants to work on himself, he is just programmed a cetain way.
Example...
Last weekend we went kayaking and my H accused me and son that we would take off on him. My H insisted I launch first, then son, and him last. We paddled some and then waited and proceeded. My H felt abandoned. On the way home we stopped at the grocery store, and my H wanted to talk in the parking lot with son next to us. I didn't want to talk in a public place with son. I then went in the store with son and my H stayed outside. Son said to me, "Dad is walking home". It did look that way. Then H came in the store. I asked H if he wanted some apples and he just stood there not aswering me. I walked towards the deli and asked him if he wanted to get some roast beef and he just stood there, not answering again. I said to him, "I was not going to talk in a public parking lot with our son". Then asked if he do wanted to get some bread for the sandwiches? H went to the bread section then started talking to me.
We talked when we got home and I explained to him this is part of his childhood abandonment issues. I explained to H that I do think he feels that way, but it's not because of me or our son are making him feel that way. I explained to H that he manipulates to get what he wants. I cannot furfill all his needs.
My H agreed about me going away to a sports weekend with other woman, my teammates. H had a problem when I went for the day kayaking with friends. H was okay for the day, but not staying away for the night camping and kayaking with 3 other woman.
H and I also kayak with other people a few times a month. I try and be very active and include my H in activities. I'm accused of not wanting him there, but that again is how he feels, I don't do that. Yes, when I'm angry I don't want to talk right away as I don't want to say something stupid.
I have agreed to stay until Jan. 1st. while H has weekly IC. After Jan. 1st it's up to me. H said he won't be a D*ck if I want to leave. H also said he won't disappoint me. I did find out with a court order I can stay on his health coverage so it has nothing to do with insurance me staying till then. I guess I'm thinking new year, new start hopefully.
I feel after this we have both given this are all. We both have our struggles and we both need to overcome them.
