Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#1927953 08/16/07 12:20 PM
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 10
S
Junior Member
Junior Member
S Offline
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 10
Here is the situation, my H is getting offended very often at something I say or do and he reacts by a disrespectful judgement or angry outburst, I am not intending to hurt him in any way, but he takes things very personally. Even if I apologize for offending him he then withdraws and then gives me the silent treatment. This has been a continued pattern in our relationship and he keeps doing this. Also, my greatest need is words of affirmation and he knows this, when he gets offended the words of affirmation don't come either. He said his greatest need is respect and honor and I have tried my best to do this, but he keeps getting upset with me. I really don't know what else I can do, any advice?

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,518
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,518
It sounds like he is upset with himself. You may not be the best person to get him to admit and face the root cause of why and what he does not respect about himself. Try to get a pastor or professional counselor to work with him. You may have to approach it as just one problem, although it is probably several, such as the visible manifestation, his anger.


Me: 61
Dear Wife: 58
Married: 35 years
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 107
W
Member
Member
W Offline
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 107
It sounds like you need joint counselling to address the way you communicate your needs to him. My FWH was exactly like that for a very long time - ultra sensitive to even the slightest perceived criticism on my part. It got so I didn't even open my mouth any more and that nearly broke up our marriage. There are ways of addressing your issues with him, but I really believe that you are past the stage of working it out without the help of a trained marriage counsellor. Please, get help before it's too late. I didn't, and my FWH had 2 affairs.


BS (me) 51
FWH 53
M 28 1/2 years

1st PA early 1984
DDay late march 1984

2nd EA/PA Dec 04 - Dec 07
3rd PA Aug 07 - Nov 07
D-Day Nov. 25, 2007 2:30 p.m. (for both #2 & 3)
in recovery

DD - 20 yrs
DS - 23 yrs

We don't see things as they are - we see things as WE are. - Anais Nin
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 219
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 219
WIO is right. The behavior you described is three of the four major control dramas. The Intimidator, the Interrogator, and the Aloof.

I can't imagine unraveling all of that w/o some professional help.

In the meantime, you do not have to be part of that drama. Remove yourself from the room when they start.

namaste


Do or not Do, there is no try.
Me 41
DW 42
M 20 years
DD 18 (on her own)
DD13

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 542 guests, and 71 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Zion9038xe, renki, Gocroswell, Allen Inverson, Logan bauer
72,026 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by leemc - 07/18/25 10:58 AM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Spying husband arrested
by coooper - 06/24/25 09:19 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,624
Posts2,323,522
Members72,027
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0