Hello, I know this looks long but PLEASE read it....

I posted on here several months back when I was just finding out my wife wanted a divorce. I will try to bring you in on the story. Married 6 years, been together 14, we have a 2 year old daughter.

Long story short I couldnt figure out why she wanted a divorce. Turns out she had an affair with one of my best friends. The reason for it?? She says she was unhappy. We have been going on living in the same house and trying to work it out but no success. We tried to be like old times, but everytime I looked at her I for some reason, visualized THEM, and then thought about how bad she did me. By the way, she managed to pick up Genital Herpes during that sling. I hope it was worth it.

I come here now in hopes of some words of wisdom, words of encouragement, and whatever else anyone wants to give me. For months now, I have been miserable. About 2 weeks ago, something happend, and I guess I got tired of being in a relationship where I was always sad, and thought about what she did to me. I still somewhat care for her and love her, but its not the same. She is a different person now. She has gotten 6 tattoos, goes out everyweekend all night, new friends, etc.

After a large argument, and me calling her a few choice names, she cordially asked me to leave. I did. This weeek is the first week we have been apart in years. Longest in about 13 years actually. I miss my daughter very much.

So, today, I get a message from someone about her "Myspace" picture having a guy in it. Called her up and mentioned I want to see my daughter today. I also say, "so, who is the guy in your myspace pic"... she replied "oh thats someone I have been talking to". She openly tells me she is already in another relationship. Let me just say, its taking all I can not to go completely nutts. She sayd she is ready to move on, and is most angry about my name calling I gave her the other night. She looks past the fact she has ruined my life with her affair and now this. How is this legal? How can she do this? What am I going to do?

PLEASE HELP ME. I am desperate, i do not know what i should do. I need to turn this divorce around on her. I feel useless, played, unneeded, just all around sad.

Run while you can! I am bran new to this site but have had my share of issues with regard to cheating. My husband planned to leave me for my best friend. After taking him back and finding out that they DID sleep together, and all the facts on how, when and where! I cant stand to look at him. I am looking for support and advise on how to handle everything. Let her go, can you live with the fact that she picked someone else over you? I cant. But he wont go and only wants to hang onto the marrage. I hate living with a untruths and lies! No trust! No love for him! I still have no desire to hurt him by leaving and he knows that and is using it to his advantage. If I was you babe, I would prais god that she was gone and go find someone who can make you happy, you deserve it!

Well, I hope it works out for you. I can say I know how you feel and mean it.

Thanks. Yeah, thats the thing. Myself and everyone else knows, I didnt do anything to bring this on. I dont think im a bad person. I dont do the "typical" things that brings on divorce. I just worry about my daughter.

I guess i have to deal with knowing she is with someone else besides me for the 2nd time this year. Cant figure out how she is that cruel.

Have you posted over in Just Found Out or General Questions? That's the best place to find advise on infidelity. Some of it depends on whether or not you want to save the marriage. Some of it applies regardless. Also, read all the books and articles available on this site to help you figure out what happened and where you want to go next. Another great read is the notable post thread by Pepperband in the General Questions forum.

Warren,
Your story sounds a lot like mine. Beginning of last year, my then wife was distant, acted odd and wierd, started spending time away from the family with "friends"

Long story short, she was having sex with 2 other guys, affairs. I too tried to live in the same house with her, but for my own sanity, I did what I had to do. I filed for divorce, took the kids, and moved out. It was a decision I had to do.

I too was like you. Every time I seen her, I seen them, having sex in the family car, throwing the kids car seats in the back to make room for them... I couldn't get past it. I tried getting help from here, but the more I read about other couples, I realized I couldn't escape the image burned into my head, them going at it like animals while I stayed home taking care of our children.

I realized after what she did to me, I couldn't go back, there was no going back to when I was happy with her, no going back to the way it was. Those last few weeks we both lived under the same roof, it felt like there were 2 other men sleeping in bed with us.

I can only offer my own story, and tell you maybe it is just time you give her the divorce she wants. Move on, take care of yourself and your kid.