I waited until I got married, age 24, to have sex. I only found out after the marriage (obviously?) that my husband could not show any sort of G-rated affection. There were other issues, but I always felt I was so cheated in that area.

We ended up divorcing after 15 years for multiple reasons but finding someone who could show affection was mandatory for me. I am now engaged and at 50 years old, and we are in marriage counseling. We disclosed that we are sexual at this point (we got engaged 4 mths ago) and the minister won't marry us (or continue counseling) unless we first state that we will abstain from here on until the marriage. We are not living together, and our kids are all grown. Both of us were faithful during our previous marriages and have not had sex w/ anyone else. My fiance' took this harder than I did...alot of anger and I have alot of hurt. I know what the Bible says, I knew what I was doing, but I feel physically sick and emotionally distraught at this point. Any encouragement available? Neither of us could (or would) lie - we want everything out in the open w/ counseling but feel very clouded right now.