***AAACK******!

that Dr. hit the nail on the head.

i saw that same article and posted it right under the "relationships" heading in my blog!

i could not have agreed with that article more. i wish more people (in my case, "men") would understand this concept...

mlhb

in my experience...women are at least, if not more guilty of this.

IMO, the problem needs to be addressed by the person in the "friendship" with someone of the opposite sex. While I might wish for my wife to not have such friendships, it is really up to her to police her own boundaries. It will drive a BS nuts trying to be the boundary cops after D-day. For me, it was deciding that it was her problem not mine and that if she failed to take action to guard against another A it was going to be alright to leave the marriage that led to my eventual calm over this kind of thing.

While it is not in my power to prevent her from crossing the line, it is within my power to state MY boundary and that is to not allow it to happen again. Next time, there will be no recovery.

I think the article tries to show why we should be worried, but does little to tell us what to do. Anyone who has been through it knows it is dangerous. What matters most is that the WS learns that it is dangerous and avoids situations where they are vulnerable. To me, this is the real way for a WS to earn the stripes that makes them a FWS.


Have you all seen Shirley Glass's quizzes?

Shirley Glass: Quiz

Mark

medc, i do know of women as well who have no problem crossing that boundary.

just seems most of the men i have had in my life don't respect that boundary of mine.

i have that boundary because i had a male friend once who should really have not been my friend. i know how easy it is for lines to get crossed (and i don't mean physical lines, but emotional friendship ones).

when i have problems now, i turn only to female friends. it is much safer that way.

so many men, and i suppose women too, base their self worth on the attentions of the opposite sex. (i say men because i am a woman and this has been my experience). what is wrong with talking to your guy friends when you have a problem? but a lot of men turn to women to talk to and i suppose women do the same thing.

it is a touchy subject with many people and many couples. bottom line is, if it is hurtful to the other person you should not being doing it. as the article says, if you don't introduce that friend to your mate, if you are secretive about the friendship, go in the other room to talk on the phone,etc... it is a PROBLEM. btdt

mlhb