Hi LM,

It's nice to "see" ya.

Here's

my story of physical confrontation.

I'm very sure that I would have been in a much stronger position had I simply walked away. Her dad was there. I was there to pick up my wife's niece to come and live with us. If I had left town alone, back to the USA, she would have come flying after me. I don't know what the long term would have been, but I know that withdrawing from that sitch would have been the most powerful thing to do. Trying to attack OM was stupid.

AND....

I think this group here on MB is not an average group of people. This is the group of people who, when they are facing the most difficult time of their lives, sit down at a computer, look at illuminated dots on a glass screen and type stuff. That's not "normal". We are not, on average, "men of action".

(I'm sure that will stir up some folks).

Still, I'm absolutely sure that physical confrontation helped nothing for me, and there were lots of other things - especially in the area of exposure - that would have helped.

-AD

_AD_,

It's awesome that your former father-in-law pounded the OM's face. But what happened when the OM became a son-in-law to your former father-in-law? Did they reconcile or what? Must've been awkward.

4th St.

I don't know. She recently visited her family - first time since the marriage to OM. My former FIL is a pastor. His daughter (my ex-w) has a child with this man. I suppose they did whatever they did. I just wish my daughter didn't have to live with the OM.

-AD

... and you know, we were 20 feet from the sea on a perfectly dark beach. In 5 minutes, it would have all been over. Would she call the police on her Dad? I doubt it, but I'm sure it would have caused ripples in lots of people's lives that would have been harmful. Perhaps my daughter never would have been born. Perhaps my ex-w would have killed herself. (quite likely, I think).

<sigh>

Life sometimes is ugly, but it sure beats the alternative.

-AD

By and large I think you are correct. There's a lot of wimpy men on these boards.

But MANY, MANY men here took heroic, decisive action to save their marriages (and women). Many of them even succeeded.

Hi MEDC,



Not splitting hairs with you, but I was referring to OM(or OW for that matter). I think the huge distinction is the word FORMER. When one comes to their sences, then I believe this is redeption from remaining a POS.

We have all somehow been a POS at some time in our life. Doesn't necessarily have had to do with infedilty, but could have been a host of circumstances that we'd like to go back and have a "do over."

When someone earns the F in OM or OW, then it's time to let go of the POS attitude and reach for forgiveness. JMHO.


Thanks for asking. Ditto to you.
Just had my routine colonscopy today.
If you think drinking the cool-aid is bad.....
Wait till you have to drink the Gatoraid <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

All Blessings,
Jerry

And some of us were utterly defeated in our attempt.

I'm banged up a plenty, but I can sail a true course.