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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 11
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 11 |
Married 20 years. DDay of my current spouses A was 7/3/06. Friendship began 5/06-6/06, PA 7/07-9/07. A ended 10/07. Spouse has alcohol problem. Spouse and I separated he says he has to be alcohol free before he can come back to marriage. Hes doing well! BUT OW calls him and he accepts calls. He doesn't call her but she calls him anywhere from once a week to once a month. He says calls mean nothing. Just friends. I have broken off all communication with him to include recovery of marriage due to his inability to understand why I am so angry over their conversations and why he still has to pick up the phone. Many people tell me I am doing the right thing others say don't worry. Last time I didn't worry he had a A. And the OW is a B who only cares about herself. He knows but still, the Mr. Nice guy can't see this is not healthy for us. HELP...PLEASE!
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,975
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Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,975 |
If he is still talking to her, then the A hasn't really ended.
NC needs to be established or the A will continue.
I am the BW,
He is the FWH
D-Day: 12/02/03
Recovered
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 11
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 11 |
Due to trailing him Private Det. I know "its" over...additional comments?
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 604
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 604 |
It seems like if the OW is still calling your WH, you should put pressure on her by exposing to her H(?), BF(?), Family, Friends, etc.
Also, I'm confused by your dates. You wrote that A ended 10/07. I read 10/07 as October 2007, which hasn't happened yet. Similarly, PA 7/07-9/07 reads to me as July 2007-September 2007. Can you clarify?
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 11
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 11 |
Sorry. A ended 10/06 PA 7/06-9/06. Her family knows and loves him so they thought the affair and now friendship is great. Spouse left her.
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 4,424
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 4,424 |
Due to trailing him Private Det. I know "its" over...additional comments? As long as they're connecting, the affair isn't over. The sex may be on hold until things cool down for him, but it's still an affair if he's betraying his marriage by talking to her.
Me - BS
DDay 1 (Multiple affairs while overseas) - Feb 2003
DDay 2 (AdultFriendFinder Profile) - April 2007
Seeing a counselor. I think we have him stumped.
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 428
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 428 |
I gotta agree with Dobie here and tell you that your husband's affair is not over. The most addictive part of the affair is the emotional aspect, and he clearly isn't willing to give it up.
The fact that he has a tendency for addictive behavior is shown as well by his alcoholism.
Stand by the need for absolute no contact if you want him back.
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464 |
Any contact means the affair ISN'T over.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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