So, on to the second day......
Dork was back on the stand. He admitted his first A. He admitted that he saw our daughter at most six times in the last two years for at most 2 hours at a time. And that he rarely answered emails. And that I faxed him only after repeated attempt to get answers.
The Judge told me that I could not cross examine as to "character" as she was there to only deal with the financial. I apologised and said it was to show his pattern of behaviour. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Then it was my turn on the stand. YIKES! It was intimidating. But I was mad enough that I was ready for almost anything.
Almost the first question out of her mouth was the date of separation. She asked about the dates. I explained that we started seeing each other after him and DP3 broke up. And that we did so until I found out about DP4!!!! SO I got DP4's name on court records.
I then got asked if I was religious.I said yes, I was a Christian. She asked me if I got MORE religious since this started. I said of course I did as I found that the supporters of family values and thought adultery was not a good decision were Christians and "walked the walk".
I then got asked about using words for DP4 like ****** with conversations with DD15. I said yes I used that NOUN. She said that didn't sound very "Christian". I said "Actually this is the term that DD15 hears in school during Bible studies as that is what the Bible calls women who commit adultery with married men. As I said it, I looked straight at Dork and he hung his head. DUH!
His lawyer stopped that line of questioning. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
She asked if I insisted on being present when DD15 met with Dork. I said "I have answered this question before. There was a report from the counsellor on DD15's wishes that I be present at ALL meetings. She has told Dork that she will NOT see him without me. I am honouring HER wishes"
Then we went round and round a bit about the actual date of separation. I finally turned to the Judge and addressed her/. I said; "Your Ladyship, in the interests of getting this settled I did not ask for affidavits or witnesses to the truth of the dates. But, I did tell both of my counsellors AND my lawyer at the time. AND DD15 and DD27 were present when we resumed our relationship. AND When we visited with Dork in Victoria, his landlord was there and KNEW where I slept. I can and will supply affidavits if necessary to show that this was not a secret or a one time thing. "
The Judge asked why I was so insistent on the date of separation. I told her that I was not going to lie for Dork or pretend that we were not in a marital relationship. She told me it would not be necessary to produce witnesses or further affidavits.
Then there was a break. But I remained on the stand. Thank Goodness. Because once you leave there is no further evidence allowed to be admitted! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />
During this time, I was looking over my notes and realized that there was no mention of living with Dork for two years prior to our marriage. And this was critical as pension and other benefits would be impacted without that additional time. SO I asked Dork's lawyer if she had a copy of the cohabitation status. She said no and that since it was not introduced as evidence that it was too late to do so now.
At first I was freaked but realized SHE is not MY lawyer. SO I ASKED the Judge and showed her the document. The Judge asked his lawyer to speak to his client. SO the lawyer went over to talk to him. He said "I guess so" The Judge asked him to clarify. Was I correct and did he agree with the date. He said yes. Man the lawyer was not happy with me slipping that in. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
After that, I stood down and his lawyer made a summation and asked the court for a Divorce decree and that injunction be granted again. GRRR!!!!!!! The Judge said that she would NOT grant it. She said it was Dork's embarrassment and not my actions that were the root of this. And that granting an injunction would only serve to bring us back to court if I broke the terms and I could be sent to JAIL!!!!!! GRRR!!!!!
She said her decision would take care of the need to communicate and the need to get information from him. I then said that I wanted child support and Spousal support to be backdated to the date of separation and that he pay me the arrears between what he paid and what he should have paid. His lawyer objected and said that my former lawyer had not filed the proper papers and that I was not entitled to that. I almost fell over! That is almost 17K!!!!!!!!!!!
I also asked that the judge order that the 50% division of his pension and his Severance package use the date of the Divorce or the date of her court order as there had been such a significant delay to get to court because of Dork's refusal to negotiate or follow through on his promises. SO we will see.
The Judge agreed. She said she would be ordering that we each pay our own costs and that the rest of the decision would be done soon. I later found out that It can take up to SIX MONTHS because of the backlog!
So, I packed up my stuff and started walking out the door. Dork called me over. I wasn't going to but he said he had cheques for me. So he handed me some and then said "You know, I really love DD15, right?" I started to tear up and just looked at him. He looked down and said "I know" He KNEW I think that loving someone doesn't mean abandoning them" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
SO I left. That was it!
When I got home, I sent a letter to my old lawyer's firm's senior partners and requested a review of both my costs and why I was now out the arrears amount because of my old lawyer's non-action. SO that is in the works. I am not happy about the loss of that part. But I will live with it if necessary. But if I can show cause or whatever, I was told I can make a written submission to review that part. So I am waiting to see. The rest of the financials will take care of themselves one way or another.
I also forgot to mention that I told the court right on the first day that I had accepted a job but had not started yet. There was a huge shuffle of paper on Dork's lawyer's part. And during Dork's time on the stand he complained that I never let him know when I had started on my previous job. So while under oath I told the court about a letter form his lawyer dated less than two weeks after I started there, that they BOTH knew about the job. And that in comparison, I was NEVER told when Dork transferred. Was NEVER informed about new phone numbers, and that the ONLY way I found out was going through Information and calling all over the place to find him. GRRR!!!!
