I was losing patience. I had been in recovery for almost three months thiking the A had been over....I discovered it hadn't. I was digging and digging to find new "evidence" and I would find it. Yesterday I finally had it and asked my family to come and pick my son and I up from the house. We took all our personal belongings and left. He has not attempted to make any contact with us and I don't think will make any. I feel so bad because not only did I lose my marriage but I also lost my home, my dreams. I felt as if everything that we had worked for went down the drains. I was the one worrying about the bills for so long and struggling to make all the bills. I had enough of that and called the mortgage company to let them know I was going to ask the bank to take over the home. I disconnected his car insurance, (which was under my name) I also disconnected the elecricity which was also under my name. I feel so used, I feel that I was providing for the home while he was busy enjoying the A. This is the fifth time either one of us leaves the home. I think he is tired and so am I. half of me wants to be at home but the other half just wants to escape. I wonder, is he going to run to the OW and forget about his wife and son? I feel so depressed, just want to sleep, sleep and sleep. Please give some advise, I'm in need of that big time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

So do you want a recovery plan for you or do you want to keep making life changing decisions in your current emotional state?

L.

Frankly, I think the best place for you and your baby is with your family so you can remove yourself from his insanity. Your family can keep you company and help you take care of the baby. I would suggest sending him a Plan B letter and cutting off all contact with him. Do you know about Plan A and Plan B?

Oh, I'm sure you will hear from him - they usually come back. What you are going to have to do is take time to look at the whole marriage, and see if you want to continue it. How was the marriage BEFORE the affair?

Does your husband work? Why is everything in your name?

I think MelodyLane has aome great advice. Its time to have a peaceful existance while you get some help for yourself.

I think this is it. I Deep down inside me, I want to work on our M but he is in no need to work on anything. He let us go and didn't stop either me or our son. He has made no attempt to look for us and even withdrew all the money in our bank account. I was going to use that money to buy our son's formula, diapers, and any other things he might need. Now I find myself with a -400 account. I was trying to be the best wife ever so that he could see what he was letting go, but he was too fogged that he could have cared less. I felt a big weight coming off my shoulders once I left that house. I felt as if he was just utilizing me and the OW at the same time. I believe he has not taking the OW into our home, she is going to start supporting him now cause I'm sure over that. I don't think he will come around-this is the third and final one. He knows this is it cause my family got involved and he knows that would have been the end to it all. Even though he is doing crazy things, I love him and I wish all this could just be a big dream.
The previous times that I have left, he comes around saying he is sorry, but only because he is in need of money. Maybe now that the OW is supporting him finacially, he will not be coming around any more. I feel very, very sad. Does he even think about what he is doing or is he happily in love with the OW that he is not bothering to care? All advise is greatly appreciated.

GO SEE A LAWYER AND GET YOU AND YOUR SON SOME LEGAL PROTECTION ASAP!!!

you had NO right to leave with his child. If you don't get in touch with him...and I mean now...you might find yourself on the wrong end of a VERY restrictive custody arrangement.

I feel sorry for you and think your WH is a jerk...but what you have done has the potential to harm you big time.

I dont think S tried to stop her when she left...I sure as ****** left with my kids...but my WH knew he could come see them at any time. in Cali's case, I dont think WH is putting any effort into trying to see child.

Talk to a lawyer but dont tell WH.

very bad advice....a judge will frown upon this. Her WH could come get those kids right now and deny her access until a judge says otherwise.
I have seen these things backfire....it backfires when a person takes money out of an account, takes marital belongings etc....
she has NO right to remove the children from their home without the CONSENT of their father...I am a full time custodial dad and one of the things that went VERY heavily against my ex is her denying me access to my son. He removing the child from their home is alienation of affection IMO.

our attorney got in contact with his attorney and have resolved to set up visitation rights for my H. He had told me before I left that he was not going to fight to see our son, that the courts were going to arrage something later. I was not going to stay in that house with his drinking problems. He has court for DUI in September and I certainly don't want my son with a person who is going to through problems like that. Like walkingbeauty10 said, he has not made any attempt to see his child, meaning, he is not interested at the moment. He is probably too in love with OW and has not time to spare. Wish me luck all, I know I can win this all and hopefully move out of the state if court grants it.

okay...so long as you have made arrangements.

My H has been trying to contact me to see our son. We have made arrangements, I just hope I don't see him, at least not right now. I couldn't believe what happened when I found out the OW tried to place a restraining order against me. I know both of them planned it but it failed against them cause the order was declined. (what a relief!) My H said (only through e-mails) because we don't have contacts in person or via telephone, that he was going to get another job since I left the home and I was primary provider. When he writes, he doesn't even bother to ask how I'm doing? Probably the love is ALL gone, right? What can i expect? he is only going to look for me when he gets tight up in the financial status. He has done that before on the previous 3 times we have separated. Will he regret leaving his family to stay with the OW who enjoys dating married men? All advice is greatly appreciated.

Cali, you need to get a temp custody order. Please see a lawyer, or go to friend of the court and ask for help if you cannot afford one.

With a baby involved, it is your responsibility (as the stable one) to make sure you have done everything to protect that baby, which means legally as well as financially, etc.

You have no idea what he and OW may do. NONE. Please get yourself a lawyer and quit waiting on him to make the moves.

You need to take control now. Get a temp cust order as well as a temp child support order.

I am in total agreement with weaver. Especially since OW tried to get a restraining order against you! OW can be very manipulative, and WH have tendecies to play dirty.

Be very careful with your infant son, he needs your protection!

My H has been sending me e-mails all this week saying how much he loves me and our son, how much he misses us. Yet again, everytime we return home, he acts as if he doesn't care. He even attached pictures of our wedding day to one of the e-mails. I'm thinking he is trying to play with my mind to see if I fall---as I always do! I wonder,does he still LOVE me or he just doesn't want to let go?

he's playing games and you should not respond to anything other than complete NC and a willingness to submit to your reasonable requests...
nc letter
counseling
complete transparency

anything less than this should be met with absolute silence by you.

Totally agree with MEDC on this...

I just filed for Full Custody, temporary restraining order, divorce---I'm just seeing it right now....If I had little hope after all that has happened in our M, I know it will all be over once he gets the papers. I want to go through with the legal side hoping he will come to terms once he sees that I'm not playing, so that he won't keep playing with my emotions. But I"m also afraid that he might follow through with everything and we will end up getting a D. I know that if he willfollow through with everything, it means he never really loved me? Has anyone ever gone to the final stage of obtaining D and H stopped everything by wanting another opportunity at saving the marriage?

Among this list I would add-
A full-time J-O-B.