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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 110
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 110 |
If we were all 100% honest wouldn't that cure all affairs?
example: Wife comes home to H and says "I met a guy who had green eyes, listened to me, and didn't grab my butt. I want you to get contacts, listen to me and quit grabb'n my butt." Instead of take'n something new she found, she asked her H to change.
I am have'n a few beers while I wait for my wife and kids to get home. I'm smoke'n a prime rib w/potatoes and sweet corn(their favorite).
I'm just throw'n stuff out there, in hopes of help'n me and someone else.
Thanks
DDay 9.10.11
Me:BH
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Well, some people are honest about having affairs. And their betrayed spouses are quite impressed by this sometimes! They come here and tell us that their spouse is having an affair, but at least...........he is honest about it! One lady told us that her WS promised to be "honest" anytime he was in contact with the OW. She was thrilled. So, I don't think honesty is neccessarily the cure. Fidelity is the cure.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,701
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,701 |
IMHO the answer is no. My WXH was a serial adulterer and if he thought he could get away with it I'm sure he would have just been honest with me and told me to just shut up and put up with his adulteries. Adulterers have a sense of entitlement. Some adulterers will be quite frank about admitting they feel entitled to adultery, some will sneak and lie...
Adultery and dishonesty are definitely related to each other, with each contributing to the other but there are other factors too.
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 9,015
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Joined: May 2002
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If we were all 100% honest wouldn't that cure all affairs? LuckyLad - imho, the answer is "no." Affairs are rooted in selfishness and a person can be honest about their feelings and honestly selfish about them all at the same time. "Denying" self is what a lot of marriage is all about, voluntarily "giving up" the "right" to act on their feelings and restricting themselves to their marital spouse only.
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hello
by Woodham - 09/22/25 03:47 PM
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