I have some serious problems here. I cannot handle one more " you need so seek counsel " because my H will not do so even though he has said he will. He is becoming more physically and emotionally abusive. Like tonight and I'm embarrassed to recount this. He screamed at me and the kids because he could not fix the sink and called all of us pieces of **it. This is pure anger on his part and blaming us because there was food in the garbage disposal that we put there and he was horrible and screaming curse words at us because of it. Obviously this has nothing to do with the garbage disposal and everything to do with what I've done to this marriage. He is taking out his problems on the kids and me. My kids shouldn't suffer and this sickens me. I'm at the point where I will move out with my children. But my husband has always been so good before that I think this as my fault I've caused this. there are brief moments where I think it's getting so much better and then this happens. I know this is serious but it fluctuates and I cannot imagine leaving. I need help

Connor....<P>If your H is physically abusive, you need to get yourself & your kids out of there. No telling what your H will do. If he is in that crazy state of mind, it is possible that he can do anything. You don't want to risk the lives of yourself or your children. Go to family or close friends, or even a shelter. Just get to some safe place.

I remember this type of thing well... let me tell you what most on this board said to me:<P>Only you know your H. Was he abusive before? Is he threatening you or just using bad words? Is he hurting you physically or emotionally?<P>First, I would NEVER EVER say to stay in an abusive relationship. <P>That said, when my H was stalking me at work (the OM works there too) my co-workers were concerned that he'd come down there and shoot all of us to get to the OM. I wrote here about my concerns. Literally almost everyone said that only I knew my H, only I knew what he was capable of, only I knew if he was a threat. I say the same to you.<P>I knew he was not a threat, even if others thought he was. I knew that he would not hurt me or anyone else. I knew that he was easing his mind by proving to himself that I was no longer with the OM. Yeah, he was weird then. He hid around corners, in the building overlooking the parking lot, generally snuck around the place trying to see me. Some of the same people who will tell you to get out will snoop on their own spouses, even tap their phones, hire PI's, and/or follow the OP. That can be perceived as abusive. That doesn't mean that it is. <P>Only YOU know if you and your children are in danger. IF YOU ARE-- GET OUT!! DON'T WAIT AND FIND OUT. I do not take the threat of abuse lightly. You shouldn't either. <P>I wish you blessings and safety ...<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>