I have wonderful kids. I have a wife who is still here, but asked me to pack and go. I refused. I dont want to end our marriage and our kids dont deserve this. I am exhausted. I have thought about leaving and and starting over somewhere else. I have thought maybe my kids would do better with some other man as their father. Dont know if I could do part time. I think I just ned a break, but cant get one. Wife is constantly angry and defensive. I am hurt and tired. I want to quit but cant. I want to go and never come back. I need peace. please encourage me.

First of all, snoop and uncover the affair.

That'll knock the wind out of her sails, but she will hit you with a full broadside.

Be prepared.

Hi, ithurtsme,

Welcome to MarriageBuilders, although I'm sorry to hear why you are here.

Listen - I'm going to recommend you repost your post in another forum on this website. This "Divorcing" board doesn't get as much traffic - and besides, it sounds like you aren't ready to divorce yet, right? You're wanting to fight for your marriage, right?

I recommend you repost at the Emotional Needs forum, and at the General Questions II forum. At Emotional Needs, people will chime in with ways you can try to meet your wife's needs and make the marriage a place she will want to stay. General Questions II is the main infidelity forum, and it might be worth it to post there to see if you are dealing with an affair on the part of your wife. (You don't give enough details for me to think infidelity is or is not involved, but from what I've seen here, it is very common, especially when the wife has asked for a divorce.)

Both Emotional Needs and General Questions II get a lot of traffic, and you'll hear from a lot of people. Do this right away, as you don't have a lot of time to spare.

To give you some hope... I found out 2 1/2 years ago that my wife wanted a divorce - and it looked like she might have been having an "emotional affair". (Further investigation showed she had not.)

I quickly realized that I had been terribly neglectful during our marriage, and I changed my behavior drastically - in order to stop "Love Busting" (doing things that destroyed her love for me), and in order to start trying to meet her Emotional Needs.

Long story short... we fell back in love, and today we are closer than we ever were before.

So take heart - it can be done. There is work involved, but IT CAN BE DONE!!

I'll look for you at Emotional Needs!