I wanted to start a new thread for those that may also need advice on the same subject.... I posted this q on my thread is she just playing him

So, I have been asked by MIL for suggestions on what she can do to help. I know family can be a great deal of pressure on the WS to end the affair, but can someone give any advice or suggestions on how exactly to go about doing this.... esp. when there's not any reasoning with the WS and it seems as though WS only hears what he wants to hear.

help???

Well, if my son did this, I might horsewhip him on the public square for shaming his momma by acting trashy. Like I told him once, "son, you may be 6'4" but I can still reach your [censored]." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

But if your MIL does not possess a horsewhip, she might tell him how sickened and disgusted she is and that his ho will NEVER darken her doorstep. He needs to know that any potential future with the OW will not be bright because she will not be accepted, much less received by family members.

Another helpful thing she could do is call the OW's parents and ask them to persuade their D to leave your H alone. She could tell them that as long as their D carries on with a married man, it makes it very hard for the marriage to be saved. This will send a powerful message to the OW that there is no future with your H.

In addition to what Melody Lane said:

Tell her to make such statements and NOT to expect immediate results. She must be firm and stand by her words...unwaveringly, as the wayward spouse ALWAYS thinks/believes that things will get better with time or in time everyone will accept it...after all...OW is such a great gal..they are sure to like her once they get the opportunity.

Breaking through the fog is often a process.


Mr. Wondering

p.s. - My MIL actually called up OM (whom she knew as OM was my FWW's old high school boyfriend and still lived near my MIL 750 miles away from us) and threatened him with all sorts of things, real and unreal. She got OM to agree to end it immediately with my wife without any explanation. My MIL saved my marriage. Your's may not be quite as effective...but given time almost all affairs end and her involvement will only expedite such. Good luck...MIL. If you need assistance with what to say or do please feel free to come on her and post about it...we'd be glad to assist you. YOU standing up for marriage is admirable....thank you.

oooh, I forgot about that, MrW! Your MIL single handedly killed MrsW's affair! LOL

Love that woman! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

thank you all so much!!! I really appreciate it!!

I agree with the others (I'm in a very agreeable mood today LOL) I especially agree with the part about being patient because not all MIL's are as helpful as Mr. Wonderings LOL and the WS typically thinx that everyone will eventually 'come around' to accepting their adultery. Alas, far too many DO accept it when somebody they know introduces their adultery partner, or at least pretend to their face...but you will still be able to find somebody who disapproves. Don't be surprised if the WS just avoids those people until the adultery ends from other causes though.

Or maybe we can get Mr. Wonderings MIL to call our WS's? LOL