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I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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OMG, a book by a psychiatrist...
They don't do good research...
The jury is still out for me...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Are you asking if there is a book that explains the why's and how's of passive agressiveness?
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Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man Scott Welzer PHD
Seems to be the most popular one.
BS 38
FWW 35
D Day 10/03
Recovery started 11/06
3 boys 12, 8 and a new baby
When life hands you lemons make lemonade then try to find the person life hands vodka and have a party.
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I would have love to actually read that one! LMAO
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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roflmfao. Rin that is to funny. PA man burning a book about PA men.
Coffee now out my nose and on my keyboard
BS 38
FWW 35
D Day 10/03
Recovery started 11/06
3 boys 12, 8 and a new baby
When life hands you lemons make lemonade then try to find the person life hands vodka and have a party.
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Oh, lord, I forgot about the burning of the book!
I was recommended that book, Frog.
As for P/A being recognized in the medical community, it WAS, but is now lumped in with Personality Disorder, as a subset of behavior.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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I think we need to be REAL CAREFUL about this...
PERSONALITY DISORDER is a BAD PSYCHIATRIC DIAGNOSIS to have...
I tried to give my H all sorts of DIAGNOSES...
STEVE told me that all I need to focus on was working on MY PLAN
AND seeing my H as AN ADDICTED WS..which would account for ALL of his CRAZYNESS...
My H was WORSE than PERSONALITY DISORDERED, though..
He WAS INSANE...like a CRACK ADDICT..eyes GLAZED and everything...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Merely being passive-aggressive isn't a disorder but a behavior — sometimes a perfectly rational behavior, which lets you dodge unpleasant chores while avoiding confrontation. It's only pathological if it's a habitual, crippling response reflecting a pervasively pessimistic attitude.[1] from wikipedia
Last edited by frognomore; 08/30/07 04:57 PM.
BS 38
FWW 35
D Day 10/03
Recovery started 11/06
3 boys 12, 8 and a new baby
When life hands you lemons make lemonade then try to find the person life hands vodka and have a party.
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LMAO...glad I could help out with that laugh today!
Wait, he hid it first!!!
Then denied it when asked about getting it...
Then said he couldn't remember WHERE he put it when asked AFTER I found it!
Then, it became a man hating book! Then, it was burned!
The evidence is at the lawyer's office! LMAO
My IC claimed that he was NARCiSSiSTiC!!!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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So are we talking about a DISORDER or an ANNOYING HABIT..a BEHAVIOR.in MB TERMS???
I mean I have all sorts of BEHAVIORAL ISSUES that BUG my H...
My biggy with my H is his OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE BEHAVIOR..is it a DISORDER or BEHAVIOR???
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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No we are talking about both.
Just like OCB or OCD. Some people take the behavior to the point that it is a disorder. Right?
There is a differenc between the person who likes the candles on their mantle a certain way and will fix them every time they walk by and the people that need to touch a door knob with their right pinky finger 3 times before turning it to the left once, right once and left again before they pull it open. Then the left foot has to cross the thresh hold first.
That is a disorder.
It is a trait or behavior that can become a disorder.
It is to what degree you use it. We are all a little PA at somepoint.
BS 38
FWW 35
D Day 10/03
Recovery started 11/06
3 boys 12, 8 and a new baby
When life hands you lemons make lemonade then try to find the person life hands vodka and have a party.
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I don't know if it's technically considered a disorder or a behaviour, but I can tell you that it's very real and can drive you absolutely insane if someone is using it on you and you don't realize what it is.
Mimi, in all seriousness, rent a copy of the Ingrid Bergman film called *Gaslight*. The term "gaslighting" comes from this movie and is now a recognized term in psychiatry. "Gaslighting" is passive/aggressive behaviour taken to extremes and the movie provides a perfect illustration of how it works.
Mulan
Me, BW
WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.
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Frog beat me to it. I was going to post the same reference. Many behaviors can become disorders when the behavior is no longer controlled by you, USED by you, but the behavior becomes a part of your personality, your operating structure.
I do so love the movie Gaslight, too!
I'll ask a perfectly solid, non-ambiguous, yes or no question, and come away with no real answer, and still utterly confused.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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Mimi, in all seriousness, rent a copy of the Ingrid Bergman film called *Gaslight*. The term "gaslighting" comes from this movie and is now a recognized term in psychiatry. "Gaslighting" is passive/aggressive behaviour taken to extremes and the movie provides a perfect illustration of how it works.
Mulan THANKS, MULAN! I WILL!
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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I think that only psychiatrists should diagnose "personality disorders".
Anything else is really an uneducated guess and...a great excuse to keep the focus off yourself.
~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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OH MY! I'm still not as BRAVE as BR... Acutally that's what I was thinking... Maybe I'm P/A.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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lol why am I so brave?
I'm really a big scaredy cat.
You should have seen me shaking before my meeting this morning!
Mimi if you think you might be passive aggressive....just start learning to draw better boundaries and own your anger...AND...speak your truth and ask for what you NEED.
See...all fixed now right? that was easy!
~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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WEll, as far as keeping focus off yourself, I can see how that happens, and how I have allowed that to happen, but I'm not P/A, so the focus DOES go right back on me.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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I think that only psychiatrists should diagnose "personality disorders".
Anything else is really an uneducated guess and...a great excuse to keep the focus off yourself. If a PA person refuses to go to a psychiatrist does that mean they are they not PA? In my case my FWW is PA and to be honest I had to put more focus on me and my part in the dance. Control my actions my reactions, my part in the exchange. I had to detatch to see where things went wrong. It wasn't easy. It still isn't. The spot light isn't on her. I don't expect it to be any different. I dont' expect anything. My focus is on me. My wife by the way was told she is PA. By 3 different IC's.
BS 38
FWW 35
D Day 10/03
Recovery started 11/06
3 boys 12, 8 and a new baby
When life hands you lemons make lemonade then try to find the person life hands vodka and have a party.
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