MEDC,

It’s ok not to agree on things.

Actually I embrace differing opinions as they are the trigger that causes me to re-analyze and reconsider subject matter.

MEDC there is always hope. That’s my trademark I guess.

When there is no hope is when I’m dead personally. This is a flame that is extinguished with my life I’m afraid.

If something is important enough to you, then you always have to hold out hope that it can change for the better. To deny yourself hope is to deny yourself the equally weighted probability of possible good and the belief in the goodness of human nature.

I believe that just as horrible as adultery is, that the there exists an equally balancing quality to M that is exquisitely good and wonderful.

SexyMamaBear you know when you’ve held out hope enough?

When you just can’t do it anymore. You have to be able to say “I’ve given all I can give and I just can’t do it anymore. I’m spent.”

When you can say this to yourself and honestly believe it, then you can have a clear conscious in the future that ONCE you were led out of the darkness of marital ignorance, into the understanding of the realities of human nature in the relationship of a marriage; that you made educated choices based upon goodness and yet failed.

But, reaching that point is important as it is the place where you can set yourself free from future introspective reproach.

Then you can sleep at night knowing that you did the best that you could do.

BTW, this is your measure; not someone else’s.

I have lived out both scenarios when facing the fork in the road of divorce or fighting for a future in the same M.

Neither choice is what I would consider less painful. They are both exceedingly difficult.

The guilt that follows from immediately throwing in the towel and pursuing D is infectious to ones soul; contaminating down to the cellular level of spirit.

If you want to know what the possibilities are then look around at all the success stories on MB. Read over in the recovery forum where people have struggled and found happiness.

Harley’s plan works period.

I read every once in a while where someone is trying to pick it apart at the seams to either be critical or maybe improve the plan for some unknown personal reason.

I believe that it is so successful because it is simple and addresses most every aspect of addiction (from adulterous lover’s high) and the relationship dynamics of cause and effect between a H and W.

Well said, Plank, it's a matter of perspective, which has been influenced by experiences, environment, and other factors.

Glass half full ~ Glass half empty.

Thanks for sharing, Plank. And your view is equally as valuable MEDC. Thanks for your input as well.

Ace

Thats right my wooden friend.

For me, likelihood and expectation also affected my decision to continue to invest.

Fighting an affair is very tiring and consumes the heart of a person if it continues for too long IME.

While hoping for the best, when it is not likely to happen, its corrupting to continue to invest in expectation of change against all indicators.

Each individual situation has a different balance of these resources, but all should be considered when a BS gives themselves permission to continue or quit their fight.

I hope that makes sense.

And yes, Harleys stuff is ACE.