H is OTR driver. Has OW in diff state. I was thrilled that he was calling daily and talked like old times (that was one of my goals)...then the bill came. He had been in contact with OW as well.

I decided no more bitterness (or try) since we got the phones for him to keep in contact, he pays the bill that he doesn't need to contact me any more. I told him he wasn't obligated, he said he knew that and he liked to talk to me...but it's clear 2's company 3's a crowd...I can't share after 25 yrs. I deserve more.

He told me that he will contact me again. So of course he calls me today --tried to chit chat and I told him I can't just be friends, he means more than that. I told him that I loved being married to him, but can't do this and I have to take care of myself. If he needed anything that I would have it ready if he still plans on coming to granddaughters b'day part in 3 weeks. He still does he says.
Maybe by then he'll have a wake up call.
He told me to contact him sometime...but I will hold steady, and strong and pray.

I deserve more.
We had been through alot in those years, more than most. We ran deep, but I won't be taken for a fool. I know I've got to make some changes with myself too.

I can't imagine not talking to him for 3 weeks. Going dark, or whatever. Maybe by then I'll be stronger. I'm so good when I don't talk to him...but then I break down cuz I love talking to him.

I deserve better.