It's been 6 years (4 of which I spent trying to reconcile with my ex husband). I'm on the third guy that I sustained a relationship with beginning with the first the first part of this year. He is extremely nice. I really enjoy everything about him. It's been just over a month. So, he asked a good question. How do you know if I'm Mr Right or Mr Right Now? We were both hurt in previous relationships. He calls at least once a day. We seem to have a huge amount of morals and values in common. We were brought up in very similar households. He is honest, hardworking, and probably the nicest person I've ever met. And he is handsome too. We also share a lot of hobbies. But how will we know? All we know is we like each other. We seem to be interested in continuing the path to get to know each other. Are there specific signs this is "the one"? I thought I had all that in marriage #1 and after 3 yrs of living together and 10 yrs of marriage I found I didn't have my best friend by my side at all. In fact, a lot of the time he was just plain mean when he wasn't being super nice. So, any ideas on how we will know? I just know I get excited to see him. I have little butterflies still when I see his smile and he kisses me. I feel good with him. But I think we are both really afraid we might get hurt again.

Well, I haven't read all the books on "the one" although MB does have a book by that title. I think you can use the MB principles to decide if you are compatible by taking the quizzes, then if you find that you meet each other's primary needs (naturally - not forced), then this is the person who you can honestly choose to be with in a relationship which is mature, and honest and healthy.
I think the chemistry can build if the pieces are in place, so I'd rather forgo instant chemistry for long term happiness.

I'd just like to add to Newly's post that I think if you meet the majority of needs easily -- that you can LEARN to meet others in a way that appeals to your SO.
I don't look at it as "forced" but as something you want to do to please your SO. I don't think that would be true if you met NONE of each others needs, but if you had different ideas about "domestic support" for example, I think you can learn to be more accomodating and supportive to meet that need.

SFDL -- just take your time. Its only been a month. See how you both feel a year from now.

Actually, I think that a month is too short of a time frame to determine that. I'd also worry that any grown up who asked that question after 1 month of dating was needy, clinging, or possessive.

I've been dating M for about 2 years. During this time, we hit some rough spots which ended up strengthening our relationship. Right now, we're really learning something important: how we handle adversity. I can't tell you how impressed I am with how he's handling this.I think he's impressed with how I'm dealing too. If I'd ever seen how my X handles adversity, if I had ever really felt the effect's of my ex's approach, I may not have married him.

There is some information you can only get with time.

Yes. I agree. Give it lots of time. A couple years tells you a lot. Let the relationship determine itself in its own time. You will know after time.

Observe him for a couple years. It is fun! Then you should get an idea. Take it slowwwwwwww.

If the Buddha Dated by Charlotte Kasl

will give you great insight into dating red flags and warnings. ..

wiftty

Some people are needed for 'right now'. That is the way life works. In fact we well meet and need more right-how people in our lives than Mr. or Ms. Right. Let me give you an example from my own life. For about 4 months I had been dating a wonderful woman. In fact, we got along so well that I started to actually think she might be the one for a LTR or, at some point, remarriage.

About a month ago she calls me and tells me she has decided to move back to the East Coast. Her family is there and she had a great job offer. After a few days of feeling bad, I realized she was great for that time in my life, but she was not the ONE.