I posted last week in the Recovery Section but have decided to post this here since this board gets more action.
Quick background. My H was having A with a person we employed. I found out and NC was written, agreed to and sent out 3/28/07. I found out last Monday that he never intended NC and he and OW continued A thinking I would never find out. He went so far as to set her up with her own company (that is in direct competition to our family business.) She dumped him in early May.
After original DD and NC I was solid in MB principles, no LB, etc. Of course I though the NC had been honored. By June, he was way better and we had two great vacations together this past summer. Again, I just found out this past two Monday's ago about the fact that the NC was not honored and I was basically made a joke of. He claims she dumped him in April or May and swears there has been NC since. Not by his choice, by hers but he claims he now realizes he was wrong.
I was devastated..... Again. He agreed to MC and IC if necessary. We just came back from MC and the therapist said he is a "habitual liar" with "narcissistic" tendencies. She wants to do IC for both and then every third or so visit do it together.
She did not sound confident given his habitual lying, doing whatever he wants because he thinks he can get away with it, etc. I did not feel any hope after leaving.
Should we move ahead with the IC and MC?
I ordered the MB HSHN and LB courses. They should be here next week. I also ordered Surviving and Affair and some other book.
Should we just do those instead?
I am so lost and depressed and sad and ...... you get the idea.
I just feel so worthless and unlovable at the moment. I honestly wish I had never found out about the A continuing beyond NC. I was happy (or at least trying to be) and now I just feel like a fool, an idiot, and do not know where to start or what to do.
Any suggestions are appreciated,
Gwife
