Jamesus,

Doesnt make sense about her removing the IUD. Why would she? Plus even if it was during a time period before the A, she surely would have informed you right?

You'll be in my prayers for the hearing, wish you the best of luck.

My initiution still is ringing bells about this background check, ******, I would even check the WW as well.

Power of the internet cannot be underestimated.

"Seek and ye shall find", "Ask and ye shall receive"

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Most I can find on WW is a -bunch- of collections stuff under her ex husband's last name, and her maiden name

Wonderboy is apparently a thief and a pot head who speeds a lot and doesn't know how to buckle a seat belt.

Work-Friend's anger management challenged husband owes money to every bank in town, doesn't pay his child support on time from his previous marriage, and can't follow the rules of the road either.

Work-Friend looks pretty clean..

You're right LTK.. it doesn't make any sense why she'd remove the IUD.. unless she -wanted- to get knocked up to get Wonderboy on the hook for support if his plans for medical school this spring fall through.. must be a pretty smart kid.. all that construction work is a good runup to being a physician.

James...if the eob from the insurance company lists an ICD-9 code or a CPT code (procedure code) you can find out what that odd charge was.

It just lists it as D1 diagnostic services.

Not sure what that is.

no, that won't help you...and most likely is not the answer either....diagnostic services are used to find out what a problem is.

Oh... well I figured it was either her there to get her quit smoking medicine, or to have the IUD removed.

I can't imagine she's knocked up if she didn't have it removed.

On the other hand, she didn't go to this Dr. to get it put in either.. and could just as easily have gone to the same place (where she pays out of pocket) to have it removed.

Ugh... not worth fretting over at this point.

Talked to the paralegal.. apparently some illnesses have filled up my lawyers time for today.. probably won't be seeing a judge next Friday either since that's a day typically for uncontested stuff.. but she'd pass on a message to him to call me.

I hate this waiting game.

Jamesus,

WOW!! Pot head, speader, thief and now medical school!! Yea right.. Like I believe that one. But then again, if you watched Forrest Gump anything is possible right!

If this guy has a rap sheet, I would certainly get documentation and attach it to your allegations of your son being in an unsafe environment.

In addition to the ICD, there should also be a CPT code for any procedures that were performed. If you do not have that listed, you should be able to obtain that information from the insurance company. They are somewhat picky about releasing some information relative to the HIPPA laws, but, most CPT codes are not that exact and may still give you an Idea of what the visit was for.

GL

Thanks for that LT.. I'll see what I can find out.. though the point really is moot.

If she's preggo.. she had it removed. The chances of her getting knocked up with it in are aaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssstronomical.

I'm betting she went to the healthy families place and had it removed.. probably cost her 50 bucks and she never told anyone.. then 'oops'..

Wonderboy's a lucky guy.. at least if she sticks to plan, he'll be 28 when she drops him like a rock and still have a few more years on me to go find someone who won't emotionally rape him.

Glad to hear you have no doubt about the paternity. That makes things easier. I am glad you are at least getting somewhere in your court date problem. Hopefully things will start really moving along soon. Just keep your head up.

Any by the way, it isn't like you are 60 or something..you still have pleanty of time to find a really great woman who will appreciate you. I dount Wonderboy will ever find a woman to appreciate his "finer qualities". You are way ahead of him in that game. Remember that this situation is a reflection of her issues..not yours. Learn from the mistakes that you DID make and just be aware of them in the future. It was her decision to have an A and no one deserves that no matter what they have done.

So no more self put-downs or you are grounded, young man! I mean it!

Hahaha.. wow, grounded on top of everything else eh?

And hey.. you guys have only seen a -few- of my finer qualities. One of these days, once the dust settles I'll have you, your H, and the kids by for dinner. I -love- to cook and haven't had the opportunity in the last 2 months to make a -real- family meal.. Maybe throw a little party if our Boilers make a bowl this year. I'll do up some of my baked Chicken Parmesan, toss up a good cesar salad homemade garlic bread... man.. I shoulda ate more than a few tacos tonight..:)

See.. can't let myself get all rusty and stuff. Besides.. by then I figure I'll owe you bigtime. Thanks for sticking by a guy.

On a more serious note though.. I'm really working on me, and honestly there are really only a handful of things I can pick out where I can look back and say I really screwed up.

I know now though that my biggest mistakes wasn't paying attention to the red flags along the way.. not necessarily on the way to the A.. I don't think I could have avoided it when it started.. but there were things when we were dating I -should- have picked up on.. I guess I did.. but for whatever reason I let it slide. Going to be -far- more picky next time.. not in any hurry though.. not at all.

Keeping the focus on my son.. I miss him already and he's only been gone an hour.. the transfer went well, didn't even look at her.. not as if I could right now without wanting to puke.. I love her, but it'd hurt too much to deal with her.

Should have seen the look on her and her work-friend's face when I pulled up beside them at the stop sign and went the other way.. like 'what??? he's going out?? he -never- goes out this late with work in the morning!'..

Couldn't help but give a little grin.. stopped for a drink and a chat with FIL.. looks like the divorce wasn't the only 'suprise' I got to be the bearer of bad news on, hit the convenience store on the way home and figure I'll chill out to 'Life' with a beer before bed.

Good night everyone.. know that Jamesus is doing -just- fine.. missing his little one and his sister.. but I'm feeling very strong tonight.. we'll see where I land in the morning.

((((((hugs to all my MB pals)))))

I will survive to fight another day.

Well.. not that it changes anything, but it looks like she's removed the relatively public message he sent her that tipped me off to the bun in the oven.

Not sure what that means, but honestly I'm not going to spend a whole lot of energy on it. I've notified my lawyer and intend to request a test anyhow 'just to be sure'..

We'll see what happens. Life is still good this morning, and I'm feeling better today even than I was yesterday. As much as I said I was letting go.. you truly don't feel liberated like this until you do. I know I'm on the right path for me.

James,



Fantastic! That is what matters!

Have a great day!

I'm doing well today... decided to look up the mass readings for today.. now this is spooky:

Romans 6: 19 - 23
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19 I am speaking in human terms, because of your natural limitations. For just as you once yielded your members to impurity and to greater and greater iniquity, so now yield your members to righteousness for sanctification.
20 When you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness.
21 But then what return did you get from the things of which you are now ashamed? The end of those things is death.
22 But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the return you get is sanctification and its end, eternal life.
23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. ------------------------------------------------------------------------


Psalms 1: 1 - 4, 6
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1 Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
2 but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.
3 He is like a tree planted by streams of water, that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.
4 The wicked are not so, but are like chaff which the wind drives away.
6 for the LORD knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish. ------------------------------------------------------------------------


Luke 12: 49 - 53
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49 "I came to cast fire upon the earth; and would that it were already kindled!
50 I have a baptism to be baptized with; and how I am constrained until it is accomplished!
51 Do you think that I have come to give peace on earth? No, I tell you, but rather division;
52 for henceforth in one house there will be five divided, three against two and two against three;
53 they will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against her mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law."



Live in the world as if only God and your soul were alone in it. Then your heart will never be made captive by anything earthly thing.

-- St. John of the Cross
___________________________________________________________

Well guys.. there is a message here that speaks directly to me.. my house of five is divided 2 against 3 and 3 against 2..

I believe God is speaking to me directly here.. and urging patience to see how His will works out. I've completely given over to him my wife.. and am praying for His strength and support in fighting for my son.

I live my life against the backdrop that IS.. not what I want it to be.. my scenery will change as I change.. as the act of the play changes.. It will be what it should be.. I am only a player in it.. God is the director.


With God at my side, I shall stand and wait.. a lighthouse, a beacon of love and hope beyond the tossing waves she rides out that obfuscates my love and devotion from her sight.

This seems to me to be a clear sign that I should live my life in the care of God.. she now lives in the counsel of the wicked.. they shall be blown away like chaff.. and I shall remain her lighthouse.. her fruit bearing tree. I pray only that she finds her faith in time not to be blown completely away herself.

I believe now more than ever that God has set us on this path for a reason.. that His will is in progress here.. if if if my WW should turn away from her sin.. I will be compelled by God to forgive and continue to love her completely. If she does not, I know that God has better things in store for me. I'm getting out of God's way, tending to myself as if I am alone in this world with God.. and will allow him to light what path I follow.

I sometimes wonder if God did not put my wife in my life to bring me closer to Him.. this is now the second time she has brought me back to the Church.. once to marry.. and now as it looks like that is falling apart. I'm here on my own this time.. and I'm listening like never before.

I think I'm truly letting go.. it feels like it today. I am at peace.. and I feel the comfort of Love all around me like I never have before.. these past two months love has been painful.. but now, once again I am comforted by peace.

Well.. first IC session tonight..

Nothing really helpful.. I'll take some time to consider what was said and get back to everyone though.

Her thought though was that I should keep trying to reach out to her.. be persistant but not pushy.. keep talking about the good things.. times where we were happy together..

I'm not sure though.. she's going to try to reach out to WW again.. but has not heard from her.. no suprise there I suppose.

Going to get some rest.. my company is doing inventory tomorrow so it's going to be fun fun fun.. I probably won't be around much as a result.

James,

No RUSH to do anything right away based on IC is there? Think about it. Didn't you just meet the IC for the first time?

Have fun with inventory! Been there. Done that. YUCK!

No rush at all Bugsy..

I did forward her the daily mass readings today as they are -extremely- appropriate.. but no, this is not my first meeting with IC.. she was our marriage counselor -before- we got married.. and has some pretty good insights as to where we were 3 years ago vs today..

She also is a friend of WW's.. so has some pretty good insights there as well.. met up with the priest as well last night and he too urged me to try and minister to her with love.. not being pushy about reconciliation.

Not sure what to make of things just yet.. so until I have a plan, not going to do much of anything to rock the now fairly calm boat.

*sigh*

Ok.. not doing well today folks..

Slipping into depression mode again. The two weeks seem to have passed uneventfully.

Don't know why I got my hopes up.. especially in light of last weekend's revelations.. but still, it's a bit of a letdown.

Going to console myself with a beer or two and watch some of the TiVo'd shows I've missed this week being so busy.

Guess it probably didn't help talking to IC last night, thinking about her.. and then stupid me breaking my quiet and sending her an email.

I've taken my eye off the ball.. not going to let that happen again. I've got to get strong again.

Keep me in your prayers folks.. not sure what my next step is other than to get my lawyer on the ball about Friday's hearing.. not even sure we're going to do that one since Friday is normally an uncontested day.

James,

It's a normal to have these ups and downs. Hope you allowed youself the down time last night and have woken with a better feeling today.

What's the weekend have in store for you?

Actually today wasn't -too- bad.

Spent part of the afternoon pining for her.. but this evening I took DD to a Girl Scout haunted campground. We had a -blast-!!

Got Mass in the AM tomorrow, and that's usually pretty rough on me.. but I know that my strength and love comes from God now.. and I need it to sustain me.

My WW is still my angel.. this is now the 2nd time she's brought me into the Church.. the first was to get married.. and now this.. perhaps God's plan for my life included her for this very purpose.

I miss her still.. and long for the life I used to have, but I'm starting to feel like it's just a natural reluctance to change. I'm not an incomplete person without her.. and I know I can survive and have a life without her in it.. but it doesn't change my hearts desire, my desire to hold true to my vows.. my deep feeling that they actually mean something. I suppose that's what sets the BS apart.. at least the one still open to reconciliation.

Even if there is another child involved, I think God would have me forgive and be the husband, father, and man that he has shaped me to be. All of these personal changes cannot be for nothing.. His will, will be done.. I simply trust that He will guide my path.. and know that only He can reach my WW and get her to break this terrible cycle she has perpetuated in her life.. and unfortunately the lives of our children.

Keep praying for me.. I'm feeling strong tonight.. it's been a good evening with DD.. it makes it just a little less hard not having DS when she's around for the weekend and not off with her friends. She's one of my 4 angels.. I just hope that the fallen one comes back to God even if she doesn't come back to me.

James,




Amazing attitude! You are doing really well!

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