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I forgot. What kind of plan are you in?
How were you ASSAULTED when you went to the house?
Who lives in THE HOUSE? Did it used to be your house together?
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Hey there Mimi.. THANK YOU for dropping in.
I'm in a long distance Plan A.. kind of like Skinsgal.
Brief recap:
She is living at a coworker's house.. who happens to be OM's mommy.
I was assaulted by coworker's husband (wasn't horrible.. he knocked my sunglasses off my face and talked big like he was going to pummel me and such because somehow he thought I called his wife a liar (which she actually is now.. under oath)... nothing actually happened as I remained fairly zenlike about the whole deal.. coworker called that night -very- apologetic.. doesn't change things though)
I still live in the marital home... WW just bought (or says she did) a new house a few doors down from Wonderboy's mom's house.
Me - 32 DS - 5 DD - 13 DSD - 9 D final 12-8-08
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Men are Mars Women are from Venus and Waywards are from Uranus. Another favorite quote of mine from "You were born on a rotten day: An unofficial horoscope" Your love life is governed by the distant planet Fringus, which is only 3 inches in diameter. -ol' 2long
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Ahahahah
2long.. you're 2much!
Me - 32 DS - 5 DD - 13 DSD - 9 D final 12-8-08
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She is still so deep in afairland that I would send the second, less friendly email. Any attempt to draw her in right now will be seen as an irritation. Her email was short and to the point...keep your that way. Invite DSD, but leave WW out of it. Remember you are supposed to look like a strong and mature man...not a needy one (ya know, like the one she has now).
Stand strong and send the second one.
"Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10
Faith isn't believing God can, it's knowing that He will.
BS(me)-27 STBXFWH-27 Married-October 2000 DDay-September 2005 Divorced-October 2006 Recommitted - June 2007 Remarried-August 2007 Kicked him out - April 11, 2008 (all boundaries crossed) Moved back with my parents - April 27, 2008 (threatening to kill me and tried to kidnap my oldest daughter) Restraining Order - April 28, 2008 DD-(6,3,2) OC-1
formerly lostanduncertain
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Alright.. that's one vote for: WW,
I'll be by after work to pick up DS, thanks for letting me know about the change of plans. The kids and I are going to be decorating the house for Christmas this weekend, and I'd sure love to have DSD around to help us out, should be fun.
Have a great day and give DSD and DS kisses and hugs from Daddy tonight! I'm leaning this way too.. I'll send it tonight after talking with my IC.. this type of thing may come up and she may have some suggestions too.
Me - 32 DS - 5 DD - 13 DSD - 9 D final 12-8-08
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"Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10
Faith isn't believing God can, it's knowing that He will.
BS(me)-27 STBXFWH-27 Married-October 2000 DDay-September 2005 Divorced-October 2006 Recommitted - June 2007 Remarried-August 2007 Kicked him out - April 11, 2008 (all boundaries crossed) Moved back with my parents - April 27, 2008 (threatening to kill me and tried to kidnap my oldest daughter) Restraining Order - April 28, 2008 DD-(6,3,2) OC-1
formerly lostanduncertain
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What's your guess about why she's asking you to come to the house?
Partly..she wants to see you, I bet...
Fill me in on why you're not inviting her over to the house...since you say that you are doing PLAN A...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Agree with Guided.
I am not sure if you should go to that house, though. Are you sure there won't be any shinanagins by the hooligins? Or hoblins...or as 2long said, the Frggusons? Or was it Fringus?
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I dunno JJ.. I'm not sure if I should go either.. there's the potential downside.
However.. thinking objectively the worst they could say is that I showed up knowing I was unwelcome.. I've got WW's email telling me that's where I had to go to pick up my son.. I think that should be enough.
Otherwise.. if they decide to get physical with me again, I'll not hesitate to call the police and file reports.
---------------
Mimi.. I don't know why she'd want me to come to the house, other than that she's staying home from work. It doesn't make a lot of sense given that since 09/09 she's been coming to my house to pick him up -because- of that incident.
I don't think it's because she wants to see me.. she -saw- me last night at the exchange and didn't say anything. Of course Wonderboy was sitting in the van in my driveway.. she does act a little differently when he's about.
Which brings up another question.. why didn't she mention this last night?
I dunno.. I could speculate all day, and it probably wouldn't be anywhere close to the truth by the end of it.
Me - 32 DS - 5 DD - 13 DSD - 9 D final 12-8-08
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As for not inviting her over to the house.. I've invited her -in- the house during the exchanges and she's refused.. figured I wouldn't press that issue beyond being polite until she accepted that little crumb.
Me - 32 DS - 5 DD - 13 DSD - 9 D final 12-8-08
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No idea what she's doing. Stay focused on what you want and need.
Be a charming, cool, calm and collected like nothing bothers you.
BxBF 32 years
WxGF 30 years
D-Day 9/24/07
Break-up/separation 9/30/07
Plan A 9/30/07-11/7/07
Plan B 11/8/07
A over 12/4/07
NC since 12/16/07
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Oh, you know they're not going to get physical. They have implicitly rescinded their ban on you, horrible fellow though you are, from darkening their door.
Now you get to decide if you want to be there.
When someone cheats on you and divorces you there are all kinds of chores they demand of you that are just so unpleasant that words scarcely do them justice.
I say minimize the number of those chores you have to endure, period.
If this one isn't especially unbearable then do it.
If it is a particular trial going there, then say sorry but you will have to deliver. I'm not going over to that he!!hole.
It's not going to change anything, you saying that. So what if they call you disagreeable in family court? They're going to do that no matter what you do. You could build the affair couple a house and they'd still find some way to complain about you.
GC
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Very true GC..
Actually I went to the Adoration chapel last night to pray about this. Figured my best advice would come from God, even moreso than the wonderful advice I receive here (no offense intended to -anyone- on that), or with my IC. The reason? God knows my heart.. God knows my WW's heart.. God knows my situation better than you guys, better than my IC, and even better than me.
So I prayed.. I prayed.. and I prayed for about 20 minutes for God to guide me in the right direction. I wasn't feeling a 'return' but I was in -send- mode.. not receive mode.. so I started reading/meditating on the writings of a Catholic Bishop who seems to have formed his ministry around visiting the shut-in and infirm...
Through the writings of this Bishop, I heard Jesus telling me that it is good and right to visit out of love the home and hearts of our enemies. I remember what stood out to me in the readings was a Christmas visit Pope John Paul payed to the prisoners of a very tight government prison only a few miles from Vatican City... and one of the prisoners called out "Your Holiness.. what are you doing here? Why come to see us?" and the Holy Father replied without missing a beat "Because you could not come see me."
I'm going tonight.. wearing the Armor of God, with love and compassion for those who have wronged me on my lips.. and a smile on my face. When I show up at their door, I will appear to be alone.. but God will be right there with me.
I didn't send her an email last night... instead, this went out this morning seeing as I was out late at a neighbors house watching my wife's favorite team get beat by our mutual least favorite team:
WW, Sorry I didn't get back to you on this yesterday, it ended up being a pretty hectic day. Just wanted to let you know that I got your email and will be by to pick up DS after work. I'll call the house phone to let you know when I'm on my way. The kids and I will be decorating our house for Christmas this weekend. I'd sure love to have DSD come and join us, I'm sure we'll all have a good time. Hope you enjoy your day off. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> James
Me - 32 DS - 5 DD - 13 DSD - 9 D final 12-8-08
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Oh... in other news.. my IC thinks that I'm doing suprisingly well. Says that there is light again in my eyes, and she's seeing me smile more.
She says that how far I've come is amazing to her, and that she can see the results of my daily devotionals, prayer, attending Mass, adorations.. she says that it's very rare for her to see such a massive change so quickly in the face of these circumstances, and that I'm doing well.
She says that as I manage to stop speculating, stop reaching out, stop seeking her and just be content with me, that she will likely draw closer.. which is why she's been trying to stir the pot recently (sound familiar peoples?).. That I should just keep doing what I'm doing, and let God take care of her.. that I'm going to end up in a better place regardless.
Me - 32 DS - 5 DD - 13 DSD - 9 D final 12-8-08
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instead, this went out this morning seeing as I was out late at a neighbors house watching my wife's favorite team get beat by our mutual least favorite team: Cowboys are going to go all the way this year, baby! Bummer about Brett Favre getting hurt - I've always liked him. Hope he's back next week. The backup QB did *really* well for himself, though. It was a good game.
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Not really sure it's going to matter which NFC team makes it. I think AFC has a lock on the Lombardi again this year.
The Cowboys and Packers are about the only teams in the NFC I see really being competetive.. and we'll see about that depending on how long Favre is out.
But I'd still take even Cleveland in a game against the 'boys.
Me - 32 DS - 5 DD - 13 DSD - 9 D final 12-8-08
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Yoohoo!!! GO COWBOYS! (PM doing the happy dance.)
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Hehe.. that game really wasn't all that pretty.. but with any luck Dallas might end up cinching HFA through the playoffs.
Now just so long as they don't let Romo hold for the game winning field goal.
*ducks and runs from all my Longhorn state friends*
Me - 32 DS - 5 DD - 13 DSD - 9 D final 12-8-08
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Could care less about football...how was the popcorn? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10
Faith isn't believing God can, it's knowing that He will.
BS(me)-27 STBXFWH-27 Married-October 2000 DDay-September 2005 Divorced-October 2006 Recommitted - June 2007 Remarried-August 2007 Kicked him out - April 11, 2008 (all boundaries crossed) Moved back with my parents - April 27, 2008 (threatening to kill me and tried to kidnap my oldest daughter) Restraining Order - April 28, 2008 DD-(6,3,2) OC-1
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