I hope I'm making sense these days.. tryin to come out of the BS fog..

I think things are starting to unravel for her.. she's making hay right now about needing Wonderboy to 'be there for her' on the trecherous 10 minute crosstown trek to the home of a man who loves her and would do anything he could to protect her and her children.

Other than that.. let's see who as of last night she's alienated from her life and her daughter.

Husband
Father
Sister
Stepdaughter
Mother In Law (Kids grandma)
Son's Godfather/Daughter's Grandfather
Daughter's Grandmother on XH's side
Daughter's Great Grandparents on XH's side

I hope it's ultimately worth it to her to throw away all of her 'trusted' and 'cherished' relationships for her persuit of Wonderboy and his family.

Oh yeah.. and let's not forget.. the guy who is trying to protect his family, walk a little closer to God, and wants to actually -keep- the promises he made to his wife, children, and faith... he's the bad guy.

*knowing smirk* (I'm getting good at those)

One of the biggest and most important parts of a good Plan A is focusing on yourself, and not the WS.

There is nothing less attractive than having a sense that someone whom you don't want anything to do with being obsessed with you.

but more than that, it is very easy to lose yourself, and to become obsessed if you allow your mind to constantly focux outside of yourself... on someone else.

So with that said,

What are you doing to bring joy into your life?

Any jam sessions lately? Have you joined or formed a new band?

Have you been creating at all? In the kitchen, with the guitar, working on projects to make your home more cozy, more beautiful?

Have you been involved with friends at all?

What besides church, have you been doing for fun? And to improve yourself?

You need to be working on and for yourself now. Four months of concentrating on her is long enough to allow yourself this luxury of focusing on her.

I'd start trying to consciously divert my mind from thinking about her now, James. And I don't mean by thinking about another woman, I mean by thinking about yourself...what kind of future do you want. Those types of things.

Sure, makes perfect sense.

So does ignoring him al2gether.

You've already had your lawyer send her lawyer this "request," right?

What good will another do?

It isn't illegal for him 2 park on the public street in front of your house.

Annoying, sure. (and that may be the point). But not illegal.

What would the basis be for a RO? Maybe you can get one, maybe you can't. If you can, why not just do that instead of playing drama games with your W?

Still, I think you were doing fine by ignoring him until you engaged her in this fruitless back and forth about him sitting in the car in front of your house.

But it's your call. If it were mine, I'd make it 2 one of the Harleys.

-ol' 2long

Wow James,

I think you could write a book on this and make some serious money. Oh wait, I could too. We could then open up a resort for BS and help them heal. What cha think?

I think you are doing amazing under the circumstances and applaud you.

I also think the notion of what are you doing for yourself is a great one. Something I am NOT well at doing myself at ALL.

JJ: Doing lots of stuff for myself.. DS, DD and I are all set to bake DOZENS of cookies which we'll be taking around to the neighbors this weekend.. fresh home baked cookies. We're going to go out tomorrow night and get some Christmas plates and that'll be our gift to the 5 families we're close to that live around us.

I've been doing a lot of writing on the guitar lately.. myself.. the 'band' thing isn't working out real well because the drummer has some commitment issues it seems.. he's got a busy life too.. but ahh well.

This week has been BUSY and will continue to be that way. The only night I don't have something on the calendar is Thursday.. and hey.. Football is on Thursday this time of year.. can watch that while I get the bulk of the Christmas wrapping done.

This weekend DS DD and I will be going out to finish the Christmas shopping, and getting all revved up for the big week next week. It's going to be beyond fun.. and I'm going to do my best not to let my mind wander too much to her.

I can't say I'm completely obsessed anymore.. It's easy to get caught up in things though.. it's sad that she's now alienating DSD's grandparents on the XH's side as well.. she's reacting out of fear.. can't seem to understand why all of these people who know her and her daughter best and care about the two of them don't buy what she's selling them.

I'm sure I'm to blame somewhere.. oh well.. doesn't bother me in the slightest.

2long:

Ok ok.. I get it.. I need to talk to the Harleys.

I haven't had my lawyer send this request.. going to wait and see if despite her little tantrum she complies. If so.. it's done. If not.. proceed as indicated.

I'm not sure the back and forth was necessarily fruitless.. but I also don't hold any real expectations of a miraculous breakthrough to result either. Staying grounded here.

Someone who cares: Look.. I like you, just don't bring your crackpipe around here.
Addict: Why can't I bring it?
Someone who cares: I don't want that stuff in my house.
Addict: But it's for ME.. not for you!
Someone who cares: It doesn't come in my house.

Takes time SG.. to really be able to stop sitting there just wanting the person you're missing.

I'm trying to keep my walk close with God.. have comfort in my friends and family.. and enjoying what I can of the Christmas season.. trying to keep an eye out for opportunities to do a little something for others.

OH.. speaking of.. I guess in all the excitement I didn't mention.. DD's Christmas program was last night and she was AMAZING.. did a Clarinet solo and was involved in all of the band and choir arrangements.. was a very nice program.

Met her music teacher.. also a bass player and we talked for a while.

I'm really happy to hear that James.

People come here to repair their marriages, to work their plans and that is what the focus is... so we often are not able to "see" if they are working on themselves and their lives as well, if they don't talk about it.

Skinsgal, just for that I'm going to have to get over to your thread! I am a master at working on myself...not so good at working on R's though. LOL

But time is going to be short this week and then we are off to DisneyWorld, so it may be awhile...

Just be warned. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Well.. it's difficult sometimes for me to remember to put that stuff into my posts.

I spent 6 years as a tech support guy, so when I'm asking for help I try to get the details in there, but stay on point.

I'm really getting all the help I need with identifying things within myself by looking at the person I feel God wants me to be.. and finding those differences in the man I see in the mirror.. then working on those. I'm trying very hard to get my life right.

I've missed some workout sessions lately.. but I'm still feeling pretty good.. very tired as I've been letting myself stay up late again.. May need to get back into the habit of going to bed early.. worked miracles on my alertness awareness up to about 3 weeks ago.. now I'm starting to feel the sluggishness and fatigue that I used to live in constantly.. don't want to go back there.

I need to be VIBRANT <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />..

Oh.. DD says I'm offically getting myself back to being the 'Cool Dad' that I was before all this started.. she's been worried about me.. God love her.. she's the best.

OH... JJ.. somehow I missed the last part of your post.


Have fun storming the Magic Castle!!!!

Josie,

Come on over, I welcome any suggestions on working on myself. It's so not something I am comfortable doing.

Disneyworld? How fun, have a blast.

James,
On a side note - do you know excel very well? I need to know if I can amoratize an investment on there and how I do it?

James - response was what I expected. Don't expect her to comply, I wouldn't have. She will make sure he is there just to spite you. Remember to remain in control. I hope she does do as you ask. Bet that will cause some fireworks in the paradise hut!

Glad you have some fun things planned for you and your kids over the holiday.

I'm sure you probably can do it in Excel, it'd just be a matter of getting the right calculation in the cells. Accounting is not my strong suit so I'm not entirely sure how much help I can be in that respect.

There are probably tutorials on the subject online. I'd look but I don't really have too much time while at work this afternoon.

try this, it might help.

http://www.vertex42.com/ExcelArticles/amortization-formulas.html

No worries Guided I'm holding no expectations at this point. Figured I had to give those up if I was going to proceed Plan A style.

If he shows I'll call the lawyer and have him send over a request. If not I'll chalk it up to a LV and move on. No worries.

Aweseome MEDC

Thanks MEDC,

Will that help me figure out how much money I can make if I invest 50k at 12% for about 10 or so years.

Someone is asking me to invest money now that my trust fund is about to pay out. I want to make sure its a good investment and worth the money.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I have never used that....but give it a try


or you can use the rule of 72.

for your example, at 12%... divide 72 by 12(or any interest rate you choose to use) and it will give you the number of years before your money doubles. so, in 6 years, your 50K will become $100K! 6 years from then it would be 200K.

your investment at 12% for 10 years will net you $165,019.34

A HP 12C calculator is an invaluable tool!

*pfft* Showoff

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

LOL, MEDC -

((((A HP 12C calculator is an invaluable tool!))

Ok, I am humble enough - what is this?

I'm a lowly secretary, albeit head one, but lowly who uses primary math calculators. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />