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Truly fascinating guys...
:P
Well.. I'm off work in a few minutes. Going to be a fun filled night for sure.
FIL and I are going to be dropping by DSD's Christmas program tonight.
No worries.. we plan to mind our own business.. any encounters will be by chance only.. nobody's going to force anything... ok.. well I won't at least.
Just going to support a little girl I love.
Me - 32
DS - 5
DD - 13
DSD - 9
D final 12-8-08
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Ok.. sent a request for an appointment with Steve or Jennifer..
We'll see when my day in front of the doc is.
Me - 32
DS - 5
DD - 13
DSD - 9
D final 12-8-08
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Night James, Have a blast..... Here's the quote I am giving staff when we come back from vacation in 08. Man’s extremity is God’s opportunity. Unshakable faith is faith that has been shaken. - Unknown You and I always HAVE TO KEEP the FAITH and WORK THE PLAN. In AA we say, it works if you work it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
Last edited by skinsgal; 12/18/07 02:43 PM.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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DSD was absolutely adorable tonight. They came in about a minute or so behind us, but WW rushed her off to the place the kids were getting ready, and shielded DS from being able to see FIL and I.. We just went to the auditorium, found ourselves a couple seats and watched.. then left. I don't think DSD even knew we were there. Still.. was good to see her, she sang a Ragtime, Cha Cha, and a rockin type song.. the theme was basically a Christmas through the ages.. everything from Baroque to Disco Revival <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Was a beautiful show. *sigh* I miss that little girl.. she's so precious.
Me - 32
DS - 5
DD - 13
DSD - 9
D final 12-8-08
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James...this is heartbreaking, I know. I am sorry for your pain. It seems more likely than not that you are going to have to find a way to accept the loss of that relationship.
If I remember correctly, you have a friend whose child goes to school with her. Send a note to let her know you were there and that she was terrific. Other than that, you can't do anything in regards to your ww's horrible mothering.
Again, I am sorry for your pain.
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James Sounds like DSD was an angel. Sorry for the way WW is acting--I'll never understand why waywards think the cruelty is necessary on top of the other crap. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> ((((James)))) Smartie
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Ok.. sent a request for an appointment with Steve or Jennifer..
We'll see when my day in front of the doc is. HoofreakinRAY!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> You will be absolutely delighted with them, James. You will make a good plan great! -ol' 2long
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Glad you got to see DSD. Our big school christmas show is tomorrow. I can't wait either.
I completely agree with sending her a note at school letting her know that you and FIL were there. She will need to know that.
"Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10
Faith isn't believing God can, it's knowing that He will.
BS(me)-27
STBXFWH-27
Married-October 2000
DDay-September 2005
Divorced-October 2006
Recommitted - June 2007
Remarried-August 2007
Kicked him out - April 11, 2008 (all boundaries crossed)
Moved back with my parents - April 27, 2008 (threatening to kill me and tried to kidnap my oldest daughter)
Restraining Order - April 28, 2008
DD-(6,3,2)
OC-1
formerly lostanduncertain
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FIL took pictures.. I'm not going to use my neighbors kid as a messenger.. just doesn't seem right to put someone elses kids in the middle of this even just to carry a note.
FIL has the pictures, and the program, and we talked about this on the way out to the car. Dad put his arm around my shoulders and said 'James.. one day she'll come see her grandpa.. and I'll show her the pictures we took, and she'll know we were there.. I'll tell her you were there with me.. she'll know.'
If I see her over the couple of exchanges at Christmas where I have to go to He11House to pick up DS.. I'll tell her.. I've got presents for her too, so that might be an opportunity to say to her 'By the way honey.. Grandpa and I saw your Christmas show.. and I just wanted to tell you that I thought you did wonderfully.'
If I get the chance.. I'd rather her -hear- it from me rather than get a note..
Me - 32
DS - 5
DD - 13
DSD - 9
D final 12-8-08
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Well.. looks like I'll be talking with Jennifer tonight..
Not quite sure what to expect or to have ready.. but hopefully it'll help me get on track.
With everything that's going on it'd be nice to have some professional direction as to what to do next.
Me - 32
DS - 5
DD - 13
DSD - 9
D final 12-8-08
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Do you have questions ready to ask? Or leave it to her as to what is discussed?
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Well.. the big question is.. what does -she- think I ought to be doing, or could be doing better in my Plan A..
Honestly that's where I'd like to get to.. but ultimately I'm sure she'll have a fair amount of questions to get through for the initial talk.... that and she's going to need a fair amount of background I'm sure.
Me - 32
DS - 5
DD - 13
DSD - 9
D final 12-8-08
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James:
The first session will be mainly 2 get your story down. She's also like 2 give you some homework - ENQ kinds of things. I had one session with SH in 2002. He asked me if my W would fill out an ENQ for me, and I said "not likely", so he said I should fill one out as if I were my W. An interesting idea, because it would give them an idea of what kinds of assumptions you're making about what's going on in your W's haid.
The Harleys are also probably the very best at coming up with a means of enticing the WS 2 call them for a session on your dime, 2. Penny did that with my W, and even had a couple of back and forth emails with her. But my W was still 2 deep in the fog for anything 2 reach her at that point in time.
Your W's A is far more "typical", timing-wise and intensity-wise than my W's VLTA. More amenable 2 the MB methods.
-ol' 2long
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I will be excited to hear what happens.....
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Thanks 2long.. I seriously seriously doubt WW will consult with the Harleys.. especially not while she's in that environment... and especially since she's cut off even her family at this point..
It's real hard to see.. I've asked her to come to IC in the past.. but she totally rejected it.. asked her to do IC before she left and she rejected it..
Ugh..
She also is 'aware' of MB.. and thinks it's more like a business deal than a relationship..
*sigh*
I'm discouraged today.. but feeling strong nonetheless.. if that makes sense.
Me - 32
DS - 5
DD - 13
DSD - 9
D final 12-8-08
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Good thought on the note to DSD. A personal statement from you would mean more. I thought you had given her a note before thru this friend? Could be my mistake.
Good luck with your session with Jennifer.
"Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10
Faith isn't believing God can, it's knowing that He will.
BS(me)-27
STBXFWH-27
Married-October 2000
DDay-September 2005
Divorced-October 2006
Recommitted - June 2007
Remarried-August 2007
Kicked him out - April 11, 2008 (all boundaries crossed)
Moved back with my parents - April 27, 2008 (threatening to kill me and tried to kidnap my oldest daughter)
Restraining Order - April 28, 2008
DD-(6,3,2)
OC-1
formerly lostanduncertain
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
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I think it might be the day for us BS to struggle today. I am going to start a thread titled emergency survival kit - words of inspirations, actions, etc. that people can go to when they are struggling. Don't know if it will take off, but can try. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Posts: 10,816
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bumping for Mortarman!
-ol' 2long
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Reading.....there is a lot here!
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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