Oooh.. MM I -like- that point you made about missing out on the time with DS.. I've been trying to think of a constructive way to put that to her without saying 'You're the one deciding that you don't want to spend -every- day with your children, not me'..

The way you put it has -so- much more impact and is less accusatory.. I LIKE..

Thank you so much.

Well.. here to report that nothing unexpected happened during the exchange at He11house tonight..

Knocked on the door and WW actually had DS ready. I had a little thing I had brought for DSD, but was told that she ran to her room when I came.. WW was so nice, she offered to take what I brought her and give it to her. I politely declined and said I'd try again next time.

Funny thing is that DS ignored Wonderboy's goodbyes and just gave his mom a hug and kiss before he left.

We went to this charity house that had over 100 Christmas trees in it.. DD was hostessing one of the rooms tonight and did an amazing job. Basically she had to identify and tell a little story about the trees in the room she was in.. and of course my baby girl was wonderful.

DS is now passed out and DD has found the Disney Channel.. so Dad is going to try and get some Christmas wrapping done..

Plan for tomorrow is to get up, go have breakfast with my mom and give her her birthday present.. then we're going shopping for the supplies we'll need to come home and make 6 dozen cookies.. I'm thinking oatmeal raisin, oatmeal chocolate chip, and good old fashoned chocolate chip.. then once the baking is done.. I bought some Frosty the Snowman shaped plates we're going to take around to the folks around the neighborhood and spread some Christmas cheer. I think it'll be good for the kids, but I've got to admit.. It's partly my way to say thank you to the people around here who have been so good to me through all this.. my neighbors have really pulled together for me.

It's going to be a good weekend.. just busy enough for me to try and push some of the holiday BS blahs away.. I think I'm doing pretty good though.. I'll check back in now and again over the break.

The cookies to the neighbor thing is a good idea....document it in your journal as it's a verifiable activity you are doing/have done with the kids in case you ever need to PROVE that you don't just babysit them when they are with you. If needed, you can get an affidavit from a neighbor verifying your journal entry as proof the journal is accurate.

It's crossing your t's and dotting your i's in an effort to refute any claim by ww is any custody battle, now or way down the road, that you just plop the kids in front of the tv and don't actually do anything with them like she does.

Without proof, it's a tried and true he said/she said argument that unless you are prepared for you end up on the defensive...and thus, LOOK guilty.

Mr. Wondering

Thanks for the advice Mr. W.. I'm making sure to take pictures and such of the kids when we go out and do stuff too.. so I think I'm pretty well covered on a lot of that. My neighbors on the witness list also know that I'm always out doing things with them.. saving tickets and such etc..

There's going to be no way -that- assertion is going to stand up.

You are doing great James. I still think that MEDC's idea about getting a fathers rights attorney to look over your case is a good one. Just to be sure you are doing all you can.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

James,

I can smell the cookies already. What a wonderful thing to do with your kids.

That's what I hurt most for my WH is the time he is absolutely losing with his children and won't have back. He is missing the funnest time of being a parent. His total loss.

But, you are there at every chance and fighting with G-d to recover and heal your family. What a special miracle you are.

Bracha

The cookies are WONDERFUL!!!

Was my first effort at baking from scratch and they came out magnificently. After breakfast we went shopping, and then the kids and I came home, cleaned up the kitchen a little and got everything ready.. 2 batches of Oatmeal Raisin, 2 batches of Oatmeal Chocolate Chip.. mmmmmmmmmm

They are DELECTIBLE!!

The kids had a -blast- helping with the cookies, putting them on the cookie sheet and watching them 'melt' in the oven. Then we made up some plates of cookies for the neighbors. I picked up some plates for about 1.50 a piece at the store that were in the shape of snowmen.. 10 cookies to a plate and we've got PLENTY left over. DS is NUTS about these cookies... so I'm going to let him take a plate of his prized creations with him on Christmas when he goes back to He11house for a few hours.

Stopped and dropped off a plate of cookies to FIL, and we stayed and chatted for about an hour.. I think he needed the company, and was really suprised about the cookies and such.

Then we went to my mom's house and took her out for dinner at our favorite restaraunt for her birthday. I gave her a heart-within-a-heart crystal pendant necklace with a small commentary about how despite our differences over the years and all that I've put her through as a son.. it's nice to know that we are such a big part of eachother's heart. She melted, and we had a wonderful dinner.. then visited an old friend of the family and drove through the 'city of lights' at the park..

We're home now and DS is playing with a new -huge- monster truck that mom pulled out from under the tree in her tradition of giving a gift to the kids each day the week before Christmas. DD is on the couch with the dog and we're getting ready to settle in with a movie for the nite..

It's been a great day.. God is truly amazing to have blessed me with such wonderful children. My wife has no idea what she's missing.. and that makes me truly sad for her.. at least for a moment.

Happy Lord's Day to all tomorrow.. just close your eyes, draw a deep breath and try to smell the vanilla and brown sugar smells that come from my kitchen and know that I'm smiling with my kids tonight.. life is good because God makes it that way.

"Then you will lift up your face without shame; you will stand firm and without fear.
You will surely forget your trouble, recalling it only as waters gone by.
Life will be brighter than noonday, and darkness will become like morning." Job 11:15-17

James,

I love when you give scripture. You always seem to say the right things.

I am so happy for your day. Such a blessing on my Lord's Day. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I am having a wonderful evening with my child and I feel the same sadness and pain. They are so LOSING out.

G-d please shepherd them in soon. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

James

Thank you for the beautiful scrpiture from Job. It truly uplifted my heart.

A blessed Christmas to you and all those you love.

Smartie

James,

Outstanding!!

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Thanks all.. yesterday was a lot of fun also. We spent most of the day over at my mom's place, watching movies, laughing and playing. I have a bit of a problem though.. it's left the remainder of my wrapping presents for tonight after the kids go to bed.. this is going to be a daunting task after they spend time opening presents at the gathering for my side of the family.. and I'm sure they're going to be juiced up for the 'magic' that happens overnight on Christmas.


I'm sorta screwed as I got about 3 presents into last night's wrapping and discovered that I don't have any more tape!!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahrgh..

Oh well.. even if I don't get any sleep tonight.. I ought to be in good shape for the kids tomorrow <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Going to be a fun Christmas here.

WW has called the last couple of mornings to talk to DS.. the conversations have been brief.. and a bit amusing. DS pretty much lets her talk for a few seconds and then says 'ok.. love you-bye..' and hangs up..

I can only imagine how that'd make me feel if I was going through Christmas without him.. but she's brought this on herself.. the feelings of pity are fleeting.

House still smells of cookies and love <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I'll update when I can.. DD and DS are keeping my hands full <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Yep - understand - down to using duct and hockey tape for the remaining presents. Victoria's Secret wrapped in duct tape. Good grief - would make any redneck proud.

Sounds good, James!

Merry Christmas!

I use advertisements from Harbor FReight Tools and Rockler woodworkers' supply for wrapping paper.

Blue masking tape is very artful in combination with the paper.

And flowers and leaves from the garden have made spectacular bows! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long

Plumber's tape, maybe? Do you really think the kids will mind? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Have a wonderful, wonderful, Christmas, James!

Saved once again by mom.. good suggestions though guys. Mom came over today, brought tape, more paper, and a yard stick (never knew -that- trick) and kept the kids wrangled for about an hour and a half while I regrouped and got the rest of the presents wrapped. VICTORY!

Then we went out to dinner and over to her place for the annual tradition of Grandma spoiling the heck out of my kids. Right now DD and DS are dueling around the house with their new RC cars.. I can't tell you all how much I love the sound of my kids playing together at Christmas.. I'm so glad DS and DD are with me tonight.. I have had moments of sorrow that DSD is missing out on this.. and WW isn't here to see the joy on our children's faces. I really just want to feel her in my arms on our couch, her head on my shoulder smiling with me as we watch our little ones tear into their new stuff. It's one of my fondest memories of recent Christmas past.. I'm almost hoping she gets a visit from 3 ghosts tonight..

Admittedly, Christmas feels a little hollow this year, but overall I'm happy, watching my kids enjoy their toys like nothing at all is wrong in the world.. They're strong little people with huge hearts. I'm due for a good breakdown tonight.. probably after Midnight Mass, and once I get the kids to sleep.. I can feel it coming already, but I'm sure I can push it away for a little while yet.

My prayer tonight: God, thank you so much for the blessings in my life.. my children whose joy tonight is a reflection upon your glory. Thank you for my wife and the circumstances of our lives that have brought me back to your service. I pray that WW turns to you and can find her hardened heart softened into a heart full of love, and that she can find her way to forgiveness, growth, and freedom from the lies and manipulations of the enemy through your grace. I pray that you hold our children close to your heart and protect them as we move through this difficult time. I pray for FIL and SIL and DSD's grandparents that they too find peace and happiness in celebrating the miracle of the birth of our Savior, regardless of their own very difficult circumstances. I pray for all of those who are standing firm for the miracle of healing for themselves and their marriages, that in the coming days, weeks and months we can celebrate many victories in your name. Finally Lord.. I ask you for your strength, and your guiding hand to help me along my journey to become a better husband and father for my family, and a better servant for you. Please guide and keep us all, and teach us to love eachother completely in the way that you love us. Amen.

Thanks James,

I need your spirit tonight. You kids are very lucky to have you.

No worries SG.. I'll be carrying you and yours with me in my prayers tonight at Mass.

Just for you:

"Surely his salvation is at hand for those who fear him, that glory may dwell in our land.
Steadfast love and faithfulness will meet; righteousness and peace will kiss eachother.
Faithfulness will spring up from the ground, and righteousness will look down from the sky.
Yea, the LORD will give what is good, and our land will yield its increase.
Righteousness will go before him, and make his footsteps a way."
Psalms 85:9-14

"The wilderness and the dry land shall be glad, the desert shall rejoice and blossom; like the crocus
It shall blossom abundantly, and rejoice with joy and singing. The glory of Lebanon shall be given to it, the majesty of Carmel and Sharon. They shall see the glory of the LORD, the majesty of our God.
Strengthen the weak hands, and make firm the feeble knees.
Say to those who are of a fearful heart, "Be strong, fear not! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God. He will come and save you."
Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, and the ears of the deaf unstopped;
Then shall the lame man leap like a heart, and the tongue of the dumb sing for joy. For waters shall break forth in the wilderness, and streams in the desert;
The burning sand shall become a pool, and the thirsty ground springs of water; the haunt of jackals shall become a swamp, the grass shall become reeds and rushes.
And a highway shall be there, and it shall be called the Holy Way; the unclean shall not pass over it, and fools shall not err therein.
No lion shall be there, nor shall any ravenous beast come up on it; they shall not be found there, but the redeemed shall walk there.
And the ransomed of the LORD shall return, and come to Zion with singing; everlasting joy shall be upon their heads; they shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorry and sighing shall flee away."
Isaiah 35:1-10

Peace be with you.

Merry Christmas James,

G-d has a special place in his heart for you right now and is SO PROUD of what you are doing and how you are helping me and others. You are an inspiration.

May your Mass this year bring you much peace in your heart and know that you are truly blessed by G-d at this very moment and always for the strength and walk you are walking.

SG

Skinsgal, you have mail
Mrs GGW