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James

I am going to Christmas Mass this morning and lifting you and your family and all my MB friends up to God in prayer.

Peace be with you...

Smartie

And peace be with my special friend, Smartie.

I can smell your cooking already.

Merry Christmas, James!

Merry Christmas to all my friends here!

This was the first time I'd ever been to Midnight Mass, and I have to tell you.. for those who have never witnessed the Catholic Mass at Midnight of Christmas Eve.. it is a -wonder- to behold. Never in my life have I seen a service so beautiful.. the choir.. the placing of Jesus in the manger by our Father.. the story of two amazing young people who had every reason to divorce, but believed in their God enough to struggle through the ridicule they must have faced from their friends and family.. Seriously.. could you imagine Joseph telling his family 'No.. she has been impregnated by the Holy Spirit.. not of infideltiy, but of -true- fidelity to the Lord our God!'... think anyone believed him.. or is it more likely they thought he was a nutjob to marry a woman who was pregnant before their wedding day and they had never known eachother..

Father didn't talk about that but it's something that has been on my mind for the duration of Advent. What he did talk about though, was something he touched on in the last couple of weeks, and that is the Father's role in the family.. to lead them in prayer.. to be the spiritual leader of the family. It's a message that brought me to my knees before when he spoke of it.. but last night.. wow.

The exchange today at noon went pretty well.. She came to the door and rang the bell. I pretty much had DS ready to go, but I handed her the present I got her and wished her a Merry Christmas. She accepted it, looking a little stuck for words as DS went out onto the porch with her. I told her that I would really like to deliver DSD's presents personally tonight, and she looked away and said she'd talk to her about it... best I could hope for at least. I asked her if she'd open her present, so she did, standing there with Wonderscumbag waiting on her out in the street. I got her all 4 Happy Bunny books signed by the author, and she looked really suprised, but then smiled to me and wished me a Merry Christmas.. I could -see- her almost melt at least a little with the present.. she -loves- Happy Bunny and the little 'extra' of having them signed I think went a long way.

As they went out to the car I caught Wonderboy coming around to help DS into the car.. DS pulled away from him violently and he looked a little taken aback. WW said something to him and he just shrugged and held his arms out sort of frustrated, shaking his head... I know DS probably hangs out with him just fine when I'm not around.. but my boy totally blows him off every time I've seen them together recently.. Makes me feel good.. but I'm not putting a whole lot into it.

Cleaned up the house.. Christmas morning was pretty good. Mom arrived to have breakfast with us, but because the kids were up so late we hadn't even gotten to the presents. DS and DD loved all the stuff.. and when I started getting DS ready to go, he asked me where we were going. I told him Mommy was coming to take him to CoWorker's house for the day.. and he threw a fit 'no!! I don't want to go!!'.. I anticipated this and told him that he needed to go spend time with her and I'd have a very special present waiting for him when I brought him home tonight. Going to need to build that at some point today.. didn't have time last night as I didn't get to bed until about 4AM.. going to -require- a nap this afternoon.

I'm feeling good today.. we'll see how that lasts, I anticipated today being very difficult.. but if I start to get anxious I'll just settle in for some prayer.. that tends to help put me back at ease.

So.. raising a Boulevard Brewery Unfiltered Wheat to all my friends and wishing you all the very best and a Merry Christmas.. May God bless each of you with some LV's today.. whatever your sitch may be.

Somedays, our LV is just getting out of bed and doing the best we can at this very moment.

But TRUSTING that G-d will take us through and put us on the other side a better person with many blessings. EH James?

Okay, I have to ask what LV's...May God bless us with what?

LOL...perhaps my brain is off today...I don't know...LOL

James, sounds like your world is great today...nice to have peace in the mist of chaos huh? Cherish the moments...every second huh? Are you holding it tight? I think that you are and am so very proud of you!

Merry Christmas my friend! It's been Merry here for sure!

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I hope I am answering right, for me they are little victories.

SG got it right.. LV's - Little Victories. Mark had a thread on it going a little while back.

I got a LV tonight that feels HUGE to me.

When I went to pick up DS, one of CoWorker's sons answered the door and motioned for me to come in.. sitting on the couch between WW and Wonderboy was DSD. I had her presents with me so I reached across WW to give them to DSD and got to stand there and watch her ooh and ahh over the stuff.. CoWorker's entire family just kind of sat there.. a few of them slackjawed.

I had forgotten another little thing I picked up for her when I took DD and DS to High School Musical, so I went out to the car to grab it. When I came back in she was out from inbetween them and I got to get up close and give her the doll.. which was -perfect- for her.. it was a Cheerleader from the movie (she's got her first cheer competition in early January.. WW still hasn't told me about it though).. I ended up with a hug and an ILY from her which has sent my spirits soaring.

Came home and put together DS's new train set and we played for a little while.. crashed out watching Monster Jam, curled up with a few of the toy monster trucks he got this morning.

He didn't bring one of his favorite toys.. the kind 3 year olds don't go -anywhere- without.. so I called WW to see if I could arrange to meet her tomorrow so he'd have it through the weekend. She said she was working until 5, so I told her to just let me know when it would be convenient for her and I'd meet her.. Probably missed an opportunity to offer to bring her lunch or something, but I'm not going to get overly pushy at this point.. baby steps.. LV after LV.. push too hard for the V and I'll end up getting the claws as she tries to reestablish an arms-length relationship.. besides.. DS and I are going to be busy tomorrow having a blast <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Merry Christmas everyone.. and goodnight.

What a blessing and LV's.

Sleep well, and good day tomorrow with your family.

Bracha

I'm glad you got to see your DSD and know that what your WW is telling you about her feelings for you is untrue.

So glad you got to see DSD!!! What a blessing!!!!

Still following your thread and lifting you up in prayer.

James,

I'm grateful for your little victories as they make me smile.

It's taken me a while to get every thing in order so I've been away getting a better udnerstand of myself.

With greater clarity I've gained a better appreciation for you and your relationship with your children and God.

You're certainly a great role model. Your children are lucky to have such a positive influence in their lives.

It's the little victories that let us know that God is listening to our prayers.

Love is the most powerful weapon we have against wickedness and tyranny.

Your love of your family and God is a very powerful force.

Keep it up!

James,

I just have this mental picture of DSD, surrounded by the "evil influence" of WonderScumBag & family,,,,,,,,,,yet like a little angel, she SHINES. Stepping away from them, she is able to (despite their BEST efforts), tell you with her child's truth & innocence her TRUE feelings for you.

I have goosebumps over this. I HATE that she is in such a BAD place, but my heart is soaring for you! Stay faithful in your efforts for her, which I know you will. It gets REALLY hard sometimes (I know first hand), but SHE will see it, know it, and someday be able to voice her thanks to you. Knowing that you continued to love and care for her despite all of her mom's horrendous behavior, YOU are/were always there for her.

{{James & kids}}

Thanks folks for checking in on me. I'm sorry I didn't get in to post yesterday, but it ended up being a very emotionally draining day and I just didn't have it in me to get back here.

Yesterday DS, DD and I went to the annual brunch with the IL's. We stayed for about 5 hours and spent very little of that time talking about WW or the sitch.. which was good, but there was definitely the elephant in the middle of the room. The IL's are so supportive, and loving.. I really don't deserve them but they gave DS and DD a 'normal' day for once in the last 4 months which is worth everything to me. I just got done sending them an email thanking them for everything. They really are great and wonderful people.

WW's younger sister actually was the one to pull me aside and ask me how I was doing. Now she and I have had our problems throughout the years.. her druggie boyfriend and his friends.. WW saying she had stolen from us etc.. but she sat down with me outside for about 20 minutes talking about how wrong this all was.. how WW had finally found something true and good in her life.. how she didn't understand in the slightest how WW could just throw that all away.. and especially for DSD. It's kind of wierd how things have changed around here.. the one sister I figured would be totally behind WW.. who WW used to use the Pink song 'Stupid Girl' for a ringtone.. thinks my wife is an idiot for what she's doing..

WW called and just chatted with me for about 3 minutes or so after she got off work.. told me she was planning on closing on the house on the 31st, and would be out shopping last night with DSD for furnishings for her room. We ended up meeting at a gas station.. and of course Wonderboy and one of his brothers had tagged along. But I gave her the gifts the IL's had sent with me to give to DSD, and got DS's little stuffed blanket that he goes few places without.

Talked a little with DSD's grandparents who are planning to come into town this weekend and hopefully see DSD and DS. WW won't let them keep DSD overnight so they're coming all the way across the state to see her for a couple of hours. I really feel for them too as they have anguished over this as well.. I'm glad WW finally relented... they are also very supportive of reconciliation.. but DSD is their primary concern of course, which I understand.

Kids and I settled in early last night and I finally got a full night of sleep this week.. good thing too.. I needed it.

Well.. DS just came downstairs, so I'm going to hop off. Not sure what today holds, maybe we'll head out of town for a little bit and go to the Children's Museum, or to a movie.. Going to try to make today not such a letdown after all the excitement of having Christmas spread out over 3 days.

I'll try checking up on everyone else after the kids have gone to bed tonight.. hope you all know that you're in my prayers and thoughts.

Ok.. now you done gone and made me cry.

I pray your vision is true Bugsy.. thank you for this.. I'm keeping this one close to my heart today.

Morning James!

There will be a day when life is not filled with so many ups and downs bunched together...LOL...

I'm glad that you did a little self care and relaxed a little after the long day instead of coming back here...wise move...

I will keep you in my prayers...praying that God will intervene in this situation to break with woman...to do what's best for you and your children...

Take care James, I may not be around a whole lot in the next week but I will be thinking about those beautiful children!

James,

Good tears in a way, though, aren't they? I've shed those myself and DO understand.

I was able to be the one (with the help of my family) to teach DSS to ride a bike this year! Know that it is something he will remember all of his life is something that our circumstances can never take away from DSS or me.

THOSE are the moments which life is about. Just like your very limited, but VERY SPECIAL Christmas moments with DSD.

James,

Always remember you are the one walking in G-ds light of love, faith and hope. He will turn this into good one day for you.

Just like you tell me.

You are the one, like Bugs says, creating those happy memories that will last your children's lives. You are the one standing for your M, you are the one showing them the path to G-d by your actions and faith.

And you will be the ONE blessed by G-d.

You are doing awesome. Keep close to G-d when it's a little more down than up or when its a little more up than down.

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I am so thrilled that you got to see DSD and give her the gifts in person. Wonderful LV! I am glad you had such a nice Christmas with your kids. They really do make it all worth while. Stay strong and know you are in my prayers always.