As far as exposing to family goes. I did tell my brother and sister-in-law . I haven't told his mother or sister yet. Frankly, I don't know if I could count on my mother in law's support, or trust her for that matter. She has broken up two marriages in her lifetime and is married to the last man she had an affair with. Telling her, I feel, would make her proud of her son. I'm sure if she was willing to break up two families, knowing both men were married, she wouldn't see what the big deal is. His sister is going to marriage counseling with her husband right now--not related to an affair.

deep,

My husband immediately did a turn around on d-day, just as your WH is doing. He dropped OW, cried, begged, and never looked back at the OW again.

He has tried to do everything since that moment forward to repair the marriage.

Of course, early on, he wanted me to "forgive, forget, and just move on" like it never happened.

That would have been most wonderful for HIM.

Not a freaking chance - the Las Vegas odds makers wouldn't make book on that one in a million years if they knew me!

And I haven't "just moved on". It's coming up on the two year d-day mark at the end of October for me. I'm moving into true recovery now. Getting him to tell me the details I needed was tough, but he ultimately came clean.

I snooped for a long time. I still do at times, because I've turned into more of a suspicious person in general since d-day. I don't trust many people anymore. A casualty of this affair.

If you choose to recover the marriage, it takes more than just no-contact. You need to do lots of reading - together. It takes both of you working, every day, to make this thing better.

He has to start with total honesty about the affair. He has to come completely clean about what he has done with the OW - and answer every question you have, whether he wants to or not. You have a right to know the answers to the questions you have, for your own peace of mind, and so that you can make decisions about your life and marriage based on truth and reason, not your imaginings and fears. He owes you the truth.

You need time together to talk rationally about what happened, and he needs to understand the importance of his honesty in the process. Get "Surviving an Affair" or "After the Affair", both very good books that can help you work through the feelings and problems after what has happened.

Don't make any rash decisions right now.

Hang in there.

SB