So what is it, why do people enjoy gossip so much. I'm going to have to admit every now and then I buy US Magazine or Life & Style (of course for the fashion articles) and for some reason reading about other people's marriage problems makes me feel "good" in some perverted way.

You know Brad and Angelina, what will happen to the kids "when" the divorce? And the updates on their fights and stress?

How about Nicole and Mr. Country Music Star - his little cheating affair with one of the most famous actresses in the world his first few months of marriage, and then a stint in rehab?

And silly little Brittney and Kfed, this one will go on and on and on won't it? How the allegations of child abuse and new custody fights?

Let's see, Paula from the CNN news is estranged from her husband now and he must have spilled about her spending habits as that's now news, she can't balance a checking account...

Nicole got pregnant, and the DUI, well when you are pregnant you get off don't you.

And the Brad the country music cutie who wrote the song about celebrities...

I'd just like to know why MY LIFE is news. I'm no celebrity, I'm a has been in the towns where I used to live, why is it that everyone loves a story about someone falling?

Ok, ok, ok, I'm still steamed at an employee that appears to have shared with another employee dirty details about my separation. I used to be "someone" in the town where she "chatted" with maybe one, maybe two, I don't even know how many customers.

I just don't know, WHY, WHY, WHY do people enjoy DIRT so much? The dirtier the better it seems right? I mean that I separated from my husband wasn't "good" enough was it if someone asked about me? And the employee that I didn't even know who heard from the employee I did know even a "bit" about my life... so long as it was dirty, felt "oh so important" sharing that information with others.

Thinking more about this I guess we are all "guilty," is that right? Has anyone shared with you "dirty" details of your life, and how long did it take for you to pass that information along? So if that's the case, who can we share our "secrets" with? What do we do in a time of crisis and need? Go to professional counselors only (those people seem a little wacko to rely on from my experience). Wouldn't one in a naive state of separation, problems and pending divorce naturally share with someone they think they can "trust?" How naive is it to assume when one says "do not repeat" that one doesn't repeat?

The poor celebrities, who do they talk to if I can't even find someone to talk to that doesn't spread rumors. Let's face it, marriages are complex, personalities are, and although I read the smutty magazines sometimes - how can life, marriage be reduced to a "headline" and I'm just imagining the headling of my marriage that my employee/friend passed along maybe not knowing it'd be spread all over one small town:

Something "almost" like what Brittney reads? How horrific? And the media is always so "surprised" when another celebrity like what's his name attempts suicide after he's been called a loser in most tabloids, with very simple headlines, "Kate dumped him and won't talk to him...." Ouch.

I still for the life of me can't figure out why I'm news even in a little town I haven't lived in for over six years. But at least since it's been that long, and since the "source" was a bimbo from another town they might not even trust, the "news" of my violent insane marriage can't have lasted that long can it have?

I fired the employee over it either way. What's the world come to when you can't even trust the most religious person y ou know? Or another subject, are religious people simply "hiding" behind religion? I gotta admit the worst employees and the biggest backstabbers have been "religious...." Here I thought was a fairly moral, decent, nice person that others could respect. I'm not sure what reality is, what is it for celebrities? Jeeze everyone must "love" me as I'm always in the headlines but why do they trash me?

Easy targets, anyone in the public eye, any so called public figure is fair game? Do we "love" celebrities? Even when I was a "real" public figure , did anyone even "like" me? Did everyone working for me tell me what I wanted to hear as they laughed at me behind my back? I suppose when a celebrity realizes that it doesn't match up is when the depression might hit a little?

GOSSIP, why do we love it when it's very EVIL?

I can't stand it. In the past whenever I was around someone who wanted to gossip or talk about their problems. I would usually either just listen to be polite (if it was about their own problems) or tell them I am not interested and not to talk to me about it (if it was gossip about someone else). For some reason it makes my stomach turn. But on the flip side my W thrives on it. Not so much the celebrity gossip, but personal gossip. She always asks me how's your mom (whom I do not get along with very well) how's your niece (whom is struggling with a drug problem) how's your brother (who is battling for custody with his XW). In the past I would blow up at her and say "Why in the @$%# do you ask me that, you know how I feel about my family and that I do not get involved in other peoples drama." She would obviously get upset for my angry outburst. Now that I have realized that gossip is important to her I take the time to give her all the details that I have, even though I hate it. I still do not pry people for details, but I do listen to them, when they are talking to my about their problems or other people's.

As for the celebrity gossip. I think it is way out of control. Look at how many celebrity news shows that there are (E.T., Access Hollywood, The Insider, E-News etc etc.) I think that most of the problems that some celebrities have stem from all the media and lack of privacy in their lives. How would you feel if the media was plastering your current situation with your spouse right now all over the news and magazines and they were pursuing you just to get more juice details to sell a story. It is a messed up society when the leading news story is about Anna Nicole's daughter's custody case instead of the 10 soldiers that were killed that day in Iraq. We fuel it, we as a society feed the gossip monster. We as a society seem to feel better about our selves to watch or read about some other ones pain and suffering. Just like here on the forums. We feel good when we see some post a sit. that mirrors our own, because we gain comfort in knowing that we are not the only one suffering, there is some one else suffering through the same think. And that is comforting. All be it, we would never wish upon a hundred years for that person to ever be in the sit., but we gain comfort in knowing they are.

Amazing thing about the employee that spread the gossip, she wasn't the type to pry, I was the one sharing and I thought it was "safe" and truth is no one is "safe" when it comes to personal dirty crap. I know that now and if I think about it, I've done it to other people. A friend told me about her divorce, I was on the phone with my mom trying to fill in the holes, figure out what happened in what I saw as her "perfect" marriage. Truth is she didn't give details, she didn't want to share, she didn't walk to be talked about. And that I talked about her was likely my way of feeling "not so bad" about my own divorce. Surely there was "dirt" in hers right? Couples don't just break up happily very often.

Yes the celebrity stuff is out of control, I can't even imagine details of my life in magazines, today I read in People the intimate financial details of Britney, you'd think the divorce papers including finances at least would be off limits but it doesn't appear so. I've been a public figure, I've been trashed for even "dating" an older man who was never more then a friend. I've been trashed for moving my business home, going broke rather then the truth, I fired three employees at the time years ago and decided I simiply didn't want to manage or grow like I was. I've been trashed for being a ******, you name it. Now it appears I was trashed for being smashed around by my husband, something I should have never ever admitted to having gone on in my life as that was "good stuff" for gossipers, really good stuff... of course if you are the "subject" of gossip the gossiper when doing it could care less.

Gossip is evil.

Sorry to hear that this issue is recurring for you Horsey...

I have always found Christians to be one of the most judgmental and critical groups and frequently hypocritical just the same. But that doesn't mean that there aren't some absolutely loving and amazing people out there in the Christian circles who would give their shirt off their back for anyone in need and perhaps even for someone not in need.

Just as many horrible ones I've met, I've found some of the greatest people I've ever known.

I think you are right, some Christians are the worst, most judgmental and hypocritical... And some are the best people. Even thinking of the church I grew up in and the people my mom's talked to about my problems. It irks me on one hand that she told my story to people I grew up with, on the other hand, "most" of them would be concerned and would actually care about me, she says some continually ask how I'm doing and pray about my situation. I believe they are sincere. Others however ought to go read in that Bible that they are hiding behind about being judgmental and how wrong it is.

I need to let this issue go. I'll never know how many people in the business world "know" about my personal details. Truth is it doesn't matter as much as I might think, if they are going to judge me without even hearing details from me personally then they are small people themselves. I left a very abusive man, took my kid and as someone said in regards to another post I did today on the EN's part of this site - I've given him more then enough time to win me back and all he proves to be over and over again is a self absorbed little boy.

We all go into marriage a little blind, we see what we want to see during the dating years. None of us really think we'll get divorced when we are walking down the isle, or we wouldn't do it. Yes I married a difficult man, looking back I can see what others saw, red flags that I chose to ignore. That this man with a mean streak became mean beyond believe I'd have never been able to forsee. I beat myself up over this, yet it's not fair to do so. I'm hard enough on myself without others being so hard on me - and I don't really know how hard they were being on me when they were "talking" about me. My employee says it wasn't even that big of a deal but of course I picture out right back stabbing. Even the customer who mentioned this to me did so in a soft, not mean way, I think he was genuinely concerned hearing what he heard, I don't think he was judging me, and really my employee might not have been either.

I need to get back to church again, and at least my readings, tv preachers and peresonal studies. Especially my morning time with God was helpful in my maintaining a positive outlook on life, and in forgiving quicker then this. We can't hold this kind of resentment for long, or it'll make us sick, mentally and physically. You are an example, you say you are now more of a leader in your church even though you've been divorced a few times, you can help others in ways many can't because you've been through a lot of hurt. Churches are even recognizing that, we are to learn from hurt and mistakes, we aren't to get stuck and live in shame/guilt.