Hi guys,

I have been dating a guy for about three weeks now. He's really great. I have been cautious about taking things slow and he's not been at all pushy about our relationship. I enjoy spending time with him, and now I have discovered that I am really beginning to develop feelings for him. A month ago, my future seemed very clear to me, but now, it's muddy. After my marriage dying and the Ex's whole affair, I have been hurt before. I know that and I accept that. I am a bit scared though about these feelings. No, I don't want to turn tail and run. I do need to come to terms that I am developing these feelings for someone new.

I don't think this new guy would ever do what ex did to me. In fact, his ex did the same thing. He was gone for a month on a job and came home to find his ex in bed with another man. I really don't believe that someone who has been hurt because of an affair would ever inflict that pain on another. So, in some aspects, we share a lot.

I guess I am just scared of my feelings and I just need to become a bit more comfortable with them. I think this is normal. Anyone have any advice out there???

Yes, it's normal. I find it's two steps forward one step back. I have been going with BF for 5 months now and it's great. But every now and then something will come up that triggers an old wound. Sometimes those fears are a signal to slow things down. It's best to deal with issues rather than ignore them. I try to be honest and open with BF when I'm dealing with something. Talking about our fears and issues has helped our relationship grow.

I remember saying these same words about my Ex because his first wife is married to OM. I was wrong. To make it worse, ex told me several times after his A that "he understood how I felt." What a slap in the face! I'm not telling this to scare you, but just be sure that you see BF as he is (good and bad) and not make any assumptions.

Take your time and enjoy. Even if the relationship doesn't work out, take something good from it. As you uncover these feelings, build yourself into a stronger, better person.

Thanks for the advice, Fbwidow. It is scary, but it's exciting as well. I am trying to take it slow and have a good time. I will keep your thoughts in mind.

I am glad that your new relationship is going well too. Good Luck!