First i would like to say im not knew to MB I have been on for sometime, I've posted and read my butt off.

My divorce was final july 09, 2007 and let me tell you I have come along way however im still sad and I still love my walk away wife. I do believe she is in an active relationship which is the one I discovered during our recovery and i finally could not stay in the house any longer to keep my own sanity.

I'm really lonley and sad. I continue to hang on to hope that one day my wife will return not this alien. This has been going on since feburury of 2005. I'm exhausted mentally and physically. M WW still attempts to control me even outside of this marriage by telling me what to do with our 4yr old daughter.

WW still wants her cake and eat it too. I'm currently living with my sister and she has been great however she has her own family to tend too. I'm getting ready to move to an apartment on sept 15 or sept 30. My divorce has cost me around 8500 dollars and I came out with joint legal and physicall custody. this divorce has deystroyed me financially. I'm in debt to my ears.

I get my daughter 3 days a week and pay 300 dollars a month in child support which I gave into. I sould be paying only 75 to 150 per friend of the court but I could no longer continue court due to the fact it was killing me inside. I did fight my butt off.

My ex continues to tell me on what and how to do it. She did not allow me to take my daughter on my scheduled parenting time because I had to work one of the days which i had my sister lined up to watch her and she told me that our daughter should always be with a parent, see I work afternoons and every day I have off is during my parenting time except one of them every other saturday. she refused me to take her and after I left she told me on the phone i could of taken her which was not true she continues to play games and continuse to stay in my head.

My exww works days and it was ok for our daughter to sit at a sitters while she worked for her 8 hour shift but not for my one 8 hour shift every other saturday. I cant take it anymore. She sends me text messages asking me how she is even after having her for 6 days in a row and if I don't answer she gets pissed and threatens me by wanting to go back to court and wanting full custody. My ex wife has had 5 affairs that I know of since this begun and who knows if not more i finally gave up on the investigation when i found out about the last one that begun back in june or sometime after we got back together. I found out by text mesasages on her phone and her behavior was the same.

When we got back together in june of 07 she started to go to college I asked her dont you think this is bad timeing to go to school when we are trying to put our marriage back together and she replied oh I see you don't support me i knew you wouldnt and you're jealous. I said no I just think our marriage is a priorty.

My ex had an apartment when we got back together and she signed a 1 yr lease in july and I had the house i told her we cant afford both and my finances are out of control her reply not my problem but continue to ask me for money to help with our daughter groceries etc.. i did it thinking it was the right thing to do.

I'm tired i will post later i need some support some responses would be great thanks...

Familygone,

Hey, my heart goes out to you... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I can tell you that this will someday just be a memory and nothing more. You will wonder why you kept on loving her after she hurt you. You will have moved on...

Keith

It will get better. You are lucky if you get 3 days per week, which is more than many dads. Use your time wisely.

I am a mom who agrees with the "Right of First Refusal" concept. This means that if one parent can't have the children on their parenting time, the other parent gets the first option. This may have been included in your custody papers, it is in mine. If so, that is why she is saying that she wants your DD on that Saturday.
However, the same holds for you. If you are able to care for your DD when she is not able, she should first ask you. You could likely have your daughter every morning if you are off. However, if she works full time, she needs to know that care is in place and you've both likely agreed to a full time arrangement.

I always ask my X to care for the kids if I can't (over 2 hours) (and I only do it for business trips). He always refuses. Do you? Let your X know that you are available and want to care for your DD. If you sister is able and willing to help you, that's great, but parent should be primary. (I do have friends who disagree with this and think grandma or aunt is the same as parent).

i agree with you newly. and there are MANY times i have gotten my children during times there dad was to have them because he had to work or something. it has worked out very well for me.

and he has gotten them a little extra as well if i have had to work and he was available.

mlhb