Top 15 Biblical Ways to Get a Wife

Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. - (Deut 21:11-13)

Find a prostitute and marry her. - (Hosea 1:1-3)

Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.- Moses (Ex 2:16-21)

Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. - Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)

Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. - Benjaminites (Jud 21:19-25)

Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you.- Adam (Gen 2:19-24)

Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a wife. - Jacob (Gen 29:15-30)

Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife - David (I Samuel 18:27)

Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative, of course.) - Cain (Gen 4:16-17)

Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. - Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)

When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." - Samson (Judges 14:1-3)

Kill any husband and take HIS wife (Prepare to lose four sons, though). - David (2 Samuel 11)

Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea; it's the law.) - Onana and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)

Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. - Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)

A wife?... NOT! - Paul (1 Cor 7:32-35)

Funny, my mom read in a devotional last week while we were on vacation a horrible story about a woman in the Old Testament who was basically a slave in an arranged marriage to her jerk for a husband, who made a mistake that almost cost him the death of his entire family and his slaves, they had slaves back then and they weren't just wives. Anyways the wise wife begged the man her husband arrogantly incensed to forgive her husband for being an idiot, and that saved her family and the slaves. God made her husband die a young death, he had a heart attack and then she remarried becoming the third wife of some other man.

I asked her, not being critical of the Bible, but wow, were women traded like slaves? It was an arranged marriage and her father didn't forsee what a jerk this man she married really was, but money was exchanged. And jeeze, did they really have slaves? And that she became the third wife of a powerful man, was that a happy ending? Did men have many wives back then?

I bought the book she was reading from Women of the Bible years ago, I have it in my bookshelf and meant to read it one day... but now after hearing her read one "happy" story of a "strong" woman, I'm not so sure. We as women whine about men who don't listen to us, don't meet our "emotional needs" and certainly we are resentful when they don't change diapers and help around the house! We've come a long way baby!

REALLY, what is the truth about women in the Bible, or do I want to know, my mom's response: you can choose to believe or not. I realize the Bible has to be taken in the context of the times, this treatment of women was normal back then... I don't know...

I certainly don't think God condoned any of those behaviors regardless of how the MEN who wrote down the incidents spun it.

Wow, an estrogen fueled man-bash.


All you gotta do is convince OM to run your husband down with a truck and yer all set.

We have come a long way, but is it any better? We are all sinners, and human. Just like the "strong" women of the Bible were human, but there are also spititual lesons in those stories for us which is why God included them

My abusive marriage would make an interesting story, but I am beyond that now and many think of me as strong. I dont feel strong yet. I feel like a survivor.

I dont know why I found humor in this post. I guess I have moved past most of the hurt from my marriage <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Many on these boards could relate to modern day versions of those
examples above (maybe with the exception of cutting the foreskins of your enemy!)

For years I couldnt go to a restaurant nearby because it was called "The Italian Affair" I said I had enough of Italian affairs and wouldnt step foot in the door. I still dont by choice go there, but if someone wanted to take me there I wouldnt not go

Sunrise, I found the examples pretty funny myself. But, as was obvious from my post, I don’t take the Bible literally, although there may be lessons in them.

My favorite was Paul's line. LOL. My pastor maintains Paul was a non-practicing homosexual mysogenist.

I asked a female preacher that I shared a daycare with once about Paul, he was against women as leaders in the church and there are vs. clearly stating his opinions. Yet today we have so many leaders like Joyce Meyers who are women, and many female pastors. My mom thinks it's because that there aren't as many strong male leaders today might be a part of it. I think Paul was a chauvanist, like many in his time, and if modern psychology is used - that he had such a messed up past, some of it would have been carried with him his entire life, thus he was tainted. I went to a rich Christian college, one of the professors believed that the Bible wasn't literal, Jonah didn't really get swallowed by the whale, and that vs. can't be picked and pulled and put into sermons without understanding the time period in which they came from. Of course the parents who heard of this man threw a fit and he was fired. But I agree with him. I didn't know the above was meant to be funny, since I was married to someone who put women down, since my brothers treated me as a second class citizen growing up and that there still is so much degradation of women today means - yes we've come a long way, but not far enough. It is true, the story my mother read about the woman in Biblical times that had a "stupid" husband, I can relate to today... I wasn't a slave to my husband, yet it was very, very hard to leave my marriage. At least back then in the old days women knew their "place" even though it wasn't a good one, today we are supposed to be "free" and "enlightened" and "equals" and we aren't. The book in the 80s is still mostly true, there is a serious backlash, women are supposed to have moved forward but in reality, we are getting whipped today, and by our own husbands...

This wasn't an "estrogen fueled man-bash." It's reality. Most of us don't have OM to run down our husbands with. Most of us are still licking our wounds and some are physical literal wounds.

Horsey, I wrote a loooong response to Pariah and never posted it. I think Pariah is so mad at his ex wife that it spills over to other women. Heck, Sunrise and I don't even have husbands, only ex-husbands, and that's not at all the same thing. And yours is a STBX.