My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years and while he was oversees in Iraq last year he got involved with a few women in online affairs. When I found out about it, I was astonished. We were on the verge of divorce, but we worked through it. I regained my trust in him and our relationship again and well, I thought we were doing great until this morning. I found some disturbing photos and videos on our computer and I questioned him about it. He has been keeping in touch with the same women from over a year ago. And this isn't with just one woman, he has been exchanging intimate photos and videos with these women and having cyber sex with them. He has talked to them on the phone and talked about meeting to make the relationships more physical.

He has admitted to me that he has an addiction and that he needs help. And I offered to go to therapy to try to save our marriage (again). But I am having some serious withdrawal issues right now. I feel very insecure and inadequate almost invisible. I want him to stop doing this, but I don't know if he can. I love him and I want to make this work, but I don't know how much more I can take.

Hi NavyWife!

Welcome to MB... I'm sorry that you are dealing with this, but you've found a great site.

It will really help if you've read the articles and basic concepts so if you haven't done that, please take some time and familiarize yourself with the MB concepts as most of the advice you receive will be based on these concepts.

It sounds like you guys never really dealt with your H's first A... Did you do any marriage counseling together?

If you suspect that your H has a sex addition problem, you might want to check out Every Man's Battle

Semper Fi,

RIF

Since he seems to be perfectly willing to toss a good marriage for his on line "activities", I think he may be a sex addict. Urge him to seek counseling. It is something that he will need to want to change.

Do you have any children with this man?

Thank you all for your support, and no we really didn't deal with the first episode since he was in Iraq and its rather ironic that he has that book "every man's battle" sitting in our bookshelf. No we don't have any children together but he did adopt my daughter this past May. We/I want to have a child together but it hasn't quite happened yet and thats probably a good thing at least right now. He is a good man, a great provider and a wonderful husband. But when he tells me the things he talks about with these women and the sharing intimate images of him with said women it just rips my heart to shreds. Its like he's a stranger to me. My self esteem is at an all time low at this point and it takes everything in me to drag myself out of bed. If it wasn't for my daughter I probably wouldn't. I feel like a fool for allowing this to happen to me, the lack of respect is what really hurts the most. We have our first visit with the marriage counselor on Thursday. I'll keep you all posted.

Hi Navywife,

It does hurt deeply when your spouse has an A or is addicted to porn/internet affairs.

I hope that the MC will help you both understand some of the dynamics in your M and that your MC can give you both some ways to start rebuilding your M.

If you have any specific questions, please let us know how we can help...

Semper Fi,

RIF