my husband. Our biggest issue right now is that he will not
add my name to the deed to our house, because I took off a few years from work to take care of our kids.

Another issue, is he will not help out around the house. I work a full time job, take and pick up the kids, take them to their activities, the grocery shopping etc, and he will not help at all. Every weekend he is gone God knows where, but yet I never have time to my self.

I am so tired I am thinking of just leaving and never coming back, but of course I would never do that because I love my kids too much.

What is his reasoning for not adding you to the deed? I am a SAHM and my name is on the deed! It just makes sense to have your name on there too just in case he passes before you. That would be a hassle.

As for not helping around the house. I have been married for 12 years and STILL can't get my husband to help out. That is just a lost cause, unfortunately.

Where is he going every weekend? He should be giving you your time too. It has to be 50/50.

I understand about just wanting to leave and dissappear. I wish I could do the same because of all of the anguish I feel inside. I just can't do it though because of my precious little ones.

Have you done any of the questionnaires on here with him to find out his/your needs?

Me (32) Him (33)
4 emotional affairs but 2 involved kissing
4 small children at home

M, it could be your husband is just too lazy to get your name added to the deed. Or there could be a much more disturbing reason.

Where does your husband go on the weekends? You NEED to find this out. This is odd, but suggests that he's living some sort of double life.

I'd also do some research to make sure you are in a "common property" state. That means in the end, it doesn't matter a hill of beans if your house is only in his name, the state still considers you an owner.

As for your overwhelming duties, you need a break. If he won't help, find help. If you can afford it, hire someone. If you can't, at least get a babysitter in for a night or two each month so you can go to the movies or out with girlfriends. And don't "ask" your husband.

POJA works great if both people are doing it, but let me tell you, if only one person practices it for a long stretch, that person loses out and resentment builds. And, obviously your husband isn't practicing it.

I agree with Greengables. Protect yourself from loosing everything. I find it odd that your H is gone every weekend. You do need to find out about where he goes? Find out more about this.

You need to take care of yourself as well before it is too late.