This is my first post, so I would appreciate any help if I have made an error as to where to post this, etc. Thank you!
I found out about my husband's affair September 1st. Many photos on his computer over a 2 month span. What a kick to the gut. I confronted him the next day. I tried to get him to admit on his own, but he completely denied everything, so I brought up the images.
It has been a rollercoaster of up and down. At first he didn't want to work it out. Then he did. But then I found out he wasn't going to give up Monday nights at the bar with co-workers.
He and the woman(what is the abbr?) he had the affair with work together. My husband refuses to quit or transfer because he worked too hard to get where he is and he won't get paid the same anywhere else. She goes to Monday nights too.
I asked him not to come back to our home till he can commit fully to me. He has stopped sleeping with her, but I am worried she is filling his emotional need of recreation. She see's him more than I do!
We work opposite shifts and rarely see each other. We have 2 children, 5 years and 1 year, so it is difficult for me to drop everything and go our to the bar. Plus, she will be there. (Oh yeah, she has a fiancee. Their relationship is rocky.)
We had a fight a few days ago when he still refused to give up Monday nights. It seems like he is trying to finish this off. I don't want to. We haven't mentioned the D word, but I'm scared he will.
He doesn't love her, he doesn't see a future with her He loves me, he loves our family. I still see hope, but I don't know how to turn this around. It's only been a few weeks, but I feel like I'm being forced into plan B. Should I stick to plan A and allow him to go out Monday nights? I don't want to let him in our home, because he's slowly been moving out and taking all his favorite things with him. I feel like he may not have a reason or want to come back.
I still have to see him everyday before work so I can give him our 5 year old for kindergarten. We are going to talk this Saturday(a day after my 26th birthday) to talk again about finances. He says he's cashing out all his PTO since we're not going on our anniversary vacation this October.
I would appreciate any questions or help. I am so overwhelmed. Thank you!
